Saturday, January 17, 2009

Bastige Von Curr's Tips on Proper Phone Etiquette


When ordering take out from a restaurant, it's really not necessary to take a look at the menu before you call in your order. There will be plenty of time to decide what you want once you're on the phone. This is especially important when you are ordering for a large group of people. The stooge taking your phone order is more than likely a big loser with nothing better to do than to spend ten minutes on the phone with you while you and your obnoxious buddies figure out what you want. And if you don't have a menu from that particular restaurant, no problem. The poor schmuck will be happy to describe every entree on the menu in great detail. Feel free to ask what their favorite dish is as well as what the most popular menu items are, how they're prepared, with what ingredients, etc, etc, etc. Get a quick run down on the price of each menu item as well. You are entitled to as much information as you demand. Ask how long your order will take. If they say twenty minutes, arrive at the restaurant in five and act all put out and impatient. Say something really clever like, "What are they killing the cow back there?" The restaurant drones will think that this is funny as they will have never heard that joke before. Don't tip them either. They make plenty of money, believe me.

The views of Bastige Von Curr, as right-on as they may be, do not reflect the views of the Reglar Wiglar, even though you would think they do since we are the ones publishing them in this forum, but you know, we gotta say they're not for some reason. At least this is what our lawyer, Jim Willy, Jr., Esq, has advised us to say.

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