Monday, February 19, 2007

The Uptown Enabler Vol. I, No. II

During a recent bookshelf reorganization project, I came across this article from the Thursday, April 2, 1998 edition of the Uptown Enabler broadsheet

When I was in college, I took a course in heroics, so I consider myself an expert on the subject. Three days ago, a man walked into the White Hen Pantry at 5457 N Clarks St, witnessing a robbery in progress. Sparing the details of the ensuing melee, I will tell you this: utilizing two frozen pizzas, one as a sheild, the second as a weapon, the man foiled the crime. The robber escaped, stunned but apparently unharmed. Following a brief conference, the man and the store's clerk (also a man) decided against alerting the police or the media. In fact, after four weeks pass, neither of them will speak of the incident again.

I do not consider these men heroes. I consider them fools.

Monday, February 05, 2007

"Whatever Happened to Soft Targets?"