(From the vaults, Reglar Wiglar #10 1998)
New Year's resolutions, we all make them. We all make promises to ourselves that this year will be different than the last. This year we'll really lose that beer gut. This year we'll quit smoking, eat better and drink less. This year we'll make our loan payments in a more timely fashion. "Why do we do this to ourselves?" I often exclaim outloud at this time of year. "We seem to enjoy setting ourselves up for failure!" We seem to revel in the revelation that once again we won't finish anything we start and that our will to change is nil. See if you have enough will power to turn page four and read Jayne Wayne's interview with the reigning rock diva, Annie Baldwell.
But that's the whole point in starting a new year: starting fresh with a new perspective and a clean slate. The past is benind us and the future is ours and it lies ahead of us, waiting for us to grab ahold of and make the most o , molding it to fit our needs, our desires and dreams just like Skatastrophe, the latest ska sensation from South Dakota. Turn to page six for Joey Germ's interview.
Not only does the beginning of a new year usher in a new year of new experiences, new friendships and new opportunities, by the same token it bids farewell to the old year---the year gone by with all its old joys and old pains and sorrows, shattered dreams, goal just missed, regrets and the endless parade of "if only's" marching through our consciences: if only I would have tried harder, if only I would have fought more for what I truly believe, if only I could find something to believe in, if only I would have not settled for less, if only I would have not made material wealth and the advancement of my career at the expense of friends and family my only goal... to see what goals rappers White Bred and Honky MC have set for 1998 turn to page ten.
So whether you are at a crossroads in your life or at a fork in the road, whether you are looking into the future with open eyes or into the past with regret and shame, turn to page twenty for the usual crop of hilarious record reviews from some of this country's least competent record "reviewers" and keep reaching for the stars at the end of the horizon that stretches out before you like an open, endless road.