Thursday, January 24, 2008

I just fuckin' watched the fuckin' Tenacious D movie

I just fuckin' watched the fuckin' Tenacious D movie from fuckin' beginning to fuckin' end. I'd seen a few fuckin' bits and pieces of it fuckin' before, because HBO runs it like twice every fuckin' day. Sometimes even at like 9 in the fuckin' morning. Anyway, this fuckin' movie is not very fuckin' good. It's pretty fuckin' funny in a few fuckin' parts, but there's just something about the fuckin' dialog that fuckin' bothered me a bit, you fuckin' know what I mean? It was like all the fuckin' characters kind of talked in this fuckin' same fuckin' annoying fuckin' unrealistic manner that tended to fuckin' grate on my fuckin' nerves after a fuckin' while. Like the way every fuckin' character said "dude", too fuckin' much. Also, the way they fuckin' talked about "rock" like every fuckin' five fuckin' seconds. It's called "rock and roll" and Tenacious D fuckin' sucks dog dicks at it. Dave Grohl impresses me slightly less. I'm sure there are other fuckin' examples of the fuckin' tedious nature of the fuckin' dialog, but I'm at a fuckin' loss right now, as my brain has been beaten into fuckin' submission by the tedium of the fuckin' "comedy". One fuckin' thing they did alot was when a character was fuckin' explaining some fuckin' important thing to another fuckin' character, he (there were no fuckin' main fuckin' female characters in this fuckin' movie (I'm not fuckin' sure if that's fuckin' relevant or fuckin' not (just fuckin' sayin'))) fuckin' squatted down and said his fuckin' lines reaaaalll fuuuucccckkkinnn' sloooowww and bounced on his fuckin' knees and held his fuckin' arms out for fuckin' emphasis, I fuckin' guess. Anyway, also fuckin' annoying.
As I said, it was pretty fuckin' funny in some parts, it was pretty fuckin' unfunny in way fuckin' more parts. I mean, fuckin... what a fuckin' waste of Neil Hamburger - one fuckin' half a line, give me a fuckin' fuckin' break - and an even fuckin' worse waste of fuckin' enormous talent was Paul Fuckin' F. Tompkins, the famous fuckin' comedian, and the current funniest fuckin' guy around. And what the fuckin' fuck? Was he supposed to be the fuckin' devil in disguise fuckin' all along, or was that just some fuckin' lazy fuckin' screenwriting?
You know what this fuckin' movie reminded me of? Fuckin' Anchorman - a reasonable time:laugh ratio that, due to fuckin' weak-ass fuckin' character development, and a sloppy fuckin' storyline that fuckin' felt like it took less time to fuckin' write than it did to fuckin' watch - adding up to a fuckin' deeply unlikeable fuckin' movie.
Thumbs fuckin' down! Fuckin' zero fuckin' stars!
-Jack Blecchh

3 comments:

Jackin' Black said...

Fuckin' A, man, haven't fuckin' seen it, but now I don't know if I ever fuckin' want to. Sounds fuckin' horrible.

Shaq Blag said...

Oh hellz yes.

Kyle Gash said...

dewwwwd.
The way they called each other Jables and Ragecage was tottal gayness too.