Reglar Wiglar Record Reviewers

Here are just a few of the individuals who have written record reviews for the Reglar Wiglar in the past ten or so years.

Bow Diddley
Jimminy Van Tuffet
Pig Patterson
Sneaky Petes
The Puzzler
Jake the Two-Eyed Snake
Slinky Bob
Bobby Neil
Shipping/Receiving
Office Manager
Steve Stoned
Rick Pencilman, Rock and Roll Dad
S.B. Sweaty
Captain Krunch
Goose Neck
The Kid
B.S. Brown
Jayne Wayne
Muggsy McMurphy
Slim Jim
Joey T. Germ
Jose Germcia
Don Rumsfeld
Al Gore
Tom "Tearaway" Schulte
Malcolm Tent
Scat-in-the-Hat
P.C. Jones
Irresistible Frank
Buzzard Brown
Sloppy Seconds
Country Joe McDonald's
The Turkey Slayer
Record Reviewer
Frankie The Boot
P. Wolfowitz
Sam Doodle
Larry "Burger" King
Boogada Boogada Boogada
Jasper Maltby
Pope "Lil' John" Paul
Whoratio Alger
Snappy Jim
Sasquatch Jim
Private Chomps
Donkey Man
Dick Cheney
T. Bone
Ken Snow
Jack Cracknuts
Soggy Sprinkles
Don Cheeto
Thee Brat
Grover Cleveland
Oliver Trask
Jack the Dandy
Condi Rice
Jimmy Jangle
Andre Salmon
Frosty O
I.C. London
Tweedle Dee
Count Von Blowenstein
Axl Pose
Sgt. Chomps
Sherlock Homey
Billy Neil
J. Ashcroft
Otis E. Lee
Gee Whiz
Drunk Bill
Chrispy
Smooth Daddy
The Lopper
Duane Lee Hobbes
P.C. Germ
Toad Anderson
Destroyer
Tarja Halonen
Tony Blair
Sloppy Bill
AutoReviewer 2000
Grandpa Pete
Twelver
Jimmy the Geek
Joey Ferret
B. Urlacher
Ace of Space
Earl Spankins
N. Ron Hubbard
Johnny Suck
Jim Willy Jr.

Zine Review: Xerography Debt #25

It warms one's heart cockles to see a zine like Xerography Debt still being published. It warms the ventricles of one's heart to see any zine being published period, especially one that supports other zines like XD does. Yes, this is a review zine with "perzine tendencies" that still firmly supports independent publishing and the underground press. Many zine publishers have ceased publishing in recent years, some of those finding refuge in electronic media (like the Reglar Wiglar) while others giving up the ghost of print completely. Not so with Davida Gypsy Breier. In fact, this issue looks better than ever with a great cover and clean well designed, easy to read copy. So, viva la zine!

Davida Gypsy Breier, POB 11064, Baltimore, MD 21212

visit them: leekinginc.com

Indisputable Facts

These facts are beyond dispute:

• American Families use over seven trillion tons of household sponges every year.

• There are 250 cars stolen every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every year in Patterson, New Jersey.

• There are, like probably, a billion microscopic organisms living in your nose or under your finger nails RIGHT NOW!

• When hungry or threatened, some turtles are capable of stalking and killing prey as large as an elephant

• The average American male will consume the equivalent of three football fields of beer in his lifetime.

• It all means nothing; everything means nothing.

Self Love is a Beautiful Thing.

It's not hard see why Kanye loves himself so much. He's the number one human being in music!

Reglar Wiglar Economic Survival Guide

Tip #1
Shop at Aldi or How I Swindled an Old Lady Out of a Quarter

Ever been to Aldi? You know Aldi, those ugly stores with the orange and blue logo you've seen scattered about the city--and the world, actually. Aldi, which started in Southeastern Iowa in 1976, is an International Conglomerate with stores all over our globe, although in Slovenia the stores are called "Hofer". Maybe Aldi means something nasty in Slovenian. You are to please excuse the digression.

I think I've been to Aldi four times in my life. The first time I ever set foot in an Aldi's was at the Uptown location (the one on Broaday near Montrose, not the one at Clark and Wilson which is now a Staples). I didn't know anything about the place. I just knew that poor people shopped there. My first tour of Aldi was over pretty fast. There was not a large variety of goods for sale, and nothing that looked all that palatable. I don't happen to like my potatoes peeled, boiled and stuck in a can, you know what I'm sayin'? So yeah, I high-tailed it out of there right quick, but not before I was accosted by the raggedy security guard posted at the door. He gave my backpack a pretty thorough going over lest I be makin' a dash with a bag full of canned lima beans.

My next Aldi experience went a little more smoothly. It was at their location on Milwaukee Avenue in Bucktown. I had to check my bag at the door this time and I took a little more time to peruse the aisles. I ended up buying a few items; tomato soup, saltines, etc. I'm not sure what I bought exactly, but I do know that I was shocked when the total came to just over five bucks. That seemed too cheap to be true. I also didn't know that you had to pay for your own grocery bags. I was over budget. Luckily I was able to carry my groceries in my arms until I could reclaim my backpack.

Third time I visited an Aldi store was in Mayfair, on Pulaski just south of Foster. I planned on buying enough food that a shopping cart would be required. However, a quarter was needed to free the cart from the rack to which it was chained. I didn't have a quarter. I passed on the panhandling option and was again forced to load up an armful of goods and then stuff them in my backpack after I got through the check-out line.

The fourth time I visited Aldi, at the same Mayfair location, I felt like I was ready to master the Aldi Experience. I had, after all, earned a college degree some years ago--a degree that until this day had served absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Maybe this was the day to test all that knowledge. And, I had a quarter this time. What I didn't realize at this point, however, was the that the quarter was merely a deposit for the cart and that I would get my twenty-five cents back once I returned it and inserted a metal key into the plastic box on the cart's handle thereby releasing the quarter. So when an elderly woman approached me before I even made it to the cart rack and offered me her cart, I thanked her, took it and turned tail, not understanding that I could merely give her my quarter and reclaim hers in exchange when I returned the cart. I ripped off a poor old lady in an Aldi parking lot.

So yeah, I f*cked it up again. Anyway this is what I bought:

1 jar of Great Gherkins Kosher Dill Spears, $1.49
1 can of Happy Harvest Cut Green Beans, $.49
1 can of Diomede large pitted black olives, $.99
1 can of La Mas Rica (The More Rich?) Black Beans, $.59
1 box of 100 individually wrapped tea bags from the good folks at Benner, $1.69. (I really splurged on that one.)
1 bag of Clancy's Crispy Crunchy Corn Chips. $.99
1 box of Millville Crispy Oats, S1.59

Total with tax $8.01

Not a bad deal, you can't argue that, however, with the exception of the Clancy's Crispy Crunchy Corn Chips which are actually tastier and crispier than Frito's Corn Chips, the overall quality of these foodstuffs was sub par. This is to be expected. What Aldi lacks in frills (like free paper bags and non-deposit shopping carts) it also lacks in quality. But again, this is where poor people shop and I'm poor people apparently, and next time I go to Aldi I'll be ready. I'm gonna to crush Aldi next time. High five!

From the Archives: All American Rejects

Recently, whilst digging around in the Reglar Wiglar archives (eeew, so dusty!) we unearthed this review of All American Reject's self-titled 2003 album:

THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS
The All American Rejects (Dog House)
I hope these guys don't think that their self-deprecating band name will save them from the wrath of the Reglar Wiglar Record Reviewers. That would be a mistake. As it turns out, I'll be leaving the name alone in order to concentrate on some other particulars. The AARs are a pair of Okie songwriters who write over-produced pop songs containing the always-threatened "infectious melodies." It's basically Weezer without the rock (I was gonna say without the balls but that didn't sound right). Possibly teenage girls will get into this, but probably not the teenage boys and certainly not old burnt-out hipsters (myself being included among the later)–P.C. Germ

Boy, have those fella's proved Mr. P.C. Jones wrong! The Rejects are frickin' huge!

From the Archives: Fallout Boy

Recently, whilst digging around in the Reglar Wiglar archives (eeew, so dusty!) we unearthed this review of Fallout Boy's 2003 debut album Take This to Your Grave:

FALL OUT BOY
Take This to Your Grave (Fueled by Ramen)
Cool packaging and slick production can't save this debut from Fall Out Boy from slipping into the emo-pop-punk sludge pile. This sounds like so much of the rest of stuff that has found its way into the review stacks around here. This horse done been beat, ya'll –Muggsy McMurphy

Boy is Muggsy eatin' crow right now. Ha! Actually, he's eatin' a Hot Pocket and he stands by his review. So there.

For T.R. Miller Scholars only!

The Complete Wormblower Transcripts

It is apparent from these transcripts that zine interviewer, Wim Boyler, had less than honorable intentions in the series of mail interviews he conducted with T.R. Miller, Cartoonist. Boyler, it seems, was simply having a little fun with our boy at The Cartoonist's expense. However, there are some nuggets of information contained in these interviews that gives us a glimpse into T.R.'s life, albeit a small one. Little information is given here that hasn't already been presented in previous issues of the "Luhey" zine. The "virginity" issue has not been revealed before but is certainly no surprise. It's also easy to see how snarky zines, like Wormblower turned Miller off from small press publications and zines specifically. T.R. Miller is not without blame in this, of course. Miller had his own interests in mind as he sent hundreds and hundreds of 'toons out to dozens of publications in the hopes of seeing them printed as many times as possible. The fact that they were mostly published ironically with a nod and a wink from the editors to the reader did little to deter Miller--whether he even realized this was the case is doubtful.

Similar situations like Miller's have been in seen in the music world as well, with artists like the late Wesley Willis. Willis suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, a mental illness that did not stop him from drawing and writing hundreds of songs about any subject that entered is fevered mind. Whether these songs had true artistic merit or were just fascinating and entertaining given the circumstances under which the were created, and by whom, is up for debate. There probably is no correct answer. The same situation can also be applied to TR Miller. This is not to suggest that Miller suffers from schizophrenia, but a man who was more than likely in his forties and still living at home during the height of his 'toon career and who was still a virgin, had no friends other than relatives and had up to that point never traveled further that 45 minutes from his home in going on four decades, that is not considered normal.

This concludes today's lecture. Should any of you students have further questions about T.R. Miller, Cartoonist or questions about 'toons in general, my door is always open.

Professor I. Drew Toons (Yes, that is my real name)

T.R. Miller Interview from 1996

Anybody who picked up a zine in the 90s, including the Reglar Wiglar, has no doubt seen one of T.R. Miller's endearingly goofy "Luhey" strips. We recently stumbled upon this interview from the zine Worm Blower, that was published in 1996, the height of T.R. Miller's brief career.

Enjoy!

Reglar Wiglar CD Review: Famous Basements

Famous Basements is the new eight song disc from Chicago's, Mean Ohio. These transplants from "The Mean State" (I'm sorry but that's the Ohio State Motto, I didn't make it up) are a four piece combo that specialize in groovy rock and pop numbers. With two singer/guitarists fronting the band, vocal duties get traded off from song to song resulting in a variety of styles shifts. This change-up creates a nice contrast of moods and rhythms. The album kicks off with the poppy harmonies of "All Won't Ever Die," (which also features saxophone and a cheerleader) followed by the '60s hints of psychedelia on "Distorted Reflections," Those two beginning tracks are likewise bookended by the funky (if I may use that word) "No Need for Alarm" and the spoken-sung build-up of "Black Box Syndrome." Mean Ohio aren't afraid to shift gears or change horses midstream and while that could potentially be a distraction to the listener, the songs here are all strong enough to blend and compliment each other. Know what I mean, Ohio?--Buzzard Brown