Desperately seeking Herman Rarebell! Local Scorpions tribute act is in search of a drummer. Qualified candidates should have weekends free, own a pro-quality kit (minimum 15 pieces), working knowledge of the albums Lovedrive, Animal Magnetism, Virgin Killers and Best of Rockers and Ballads, be rumored to have a 14-inch penis, and be ready to rock. Interested? Call Rick at 630-xxx-xxxx.