Another record review

Robert Pollard - Relaxation of the Asshole (Yuk Yuk Motherfucker Productions)

It was perhaps inevitable, given the “what the fuck” nature of his release schedule, but Robert Pollard’s first official post-Guided By Voices release is, get this, a COMEDY ALBUM. Technically speaking, it’s actually “just” a compilation of drunken GBV stage banter by the most tediously prolific artist in the history of rock. Taken as a whole, it paints a fascinating picture of a man who started smoking at the age of 35.

A few of the many, many highlights:

“Hey, did the Who play here? Did Meat Loaf play here? Did Joe Cocker play here? Did Cocker, Meat Loaf and Daltrey play here?”

“We like to keep a cooler of beer on stage because we’re hopeless pathetic alcoholics. But we say ‘fuck you’. Anybody who says we have a drinking problem, we say ‘fuck you’. I said it to my mom.”

“Let me get a cigarette. Jesus Christ.”

“Rolling Stone sucks! They can blow me forever! I tell you what, they’ve got the Top 100 Living Guitar Players in the Rock and Roll and they’ve got Joan Jett, and they’ve got both guitar players from Radiohead. What? Those motherfuckers have never played a good fucking riff in their life!”

“I’m 44 fucking years old, and I’ve got a small dick anyway, but how the fuck does the guy from the Counting Crows get to fuck all the girls from ‘Friends’. He’s an ugly motherfucker, he’s fatter than me… What’s he got?!!! Money. Money. I’ve got some fucking money, goddamit.”

“When you play big clubs like this, you’ve got to say ‘Thank you’ louder. Like this: THANK YOU!”

And so on…

-- Jesus Atkins

UPDATE!: Here's an mp3 of "They May Look Good, But They Ain't Good"