There I said it. Now all you bird lovers can go ahead and persecute me. I don't care. The truth is that I have been feeding these ingrates for a month and all they do is shit on my porch. They're already so fat they can barely fly and they somehow managed to get the top off the bird feeder which was empty anyway, but they couldn't figure that out because they're also stupid.
I'm sticking with the squirrels from now on.