Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Top Nine Woodrows Records of All-Time!

It took Reglar Wiglar music critics, Joey T. Germ and Muggsy McMurphy, over thirty-six hours, seven cases of beer and three bottles of Makers to compile this list of the Top Nine Woodrows records of all time.

(Yeah, it was suppossed to be a Top Ten but the booze ran out.)


Quite possibly the best Woodrow record ever! Punk rock has yet to fully recover. Features: “Drunk,” “Gettin’ Drunk,” “Been Drinkin’,” “Just Had to Get Drunk Last Night,” “I’d Rather be Drunk than Drinkin’,” “Drink, Drink, Drink,” & of course the club hit, “Drink, Drank, Drunk”

The follow-up album to the brilliant Drunk LP. Twice the power! Four times the fun! Thirty-seven songs, including: “Naked,” “Born Naked,” “Tube Sock,” “Been Naked,” “Buck Naked,” “Caught in the Raw” plus thirty-one more classics!

Woodrows in Love
Recorded in the spring of 1992 after ALL four of the adorable Woodrow Brothers fell in love, simultaneously with the SAME girl!!! That poor, poor girl. “We Love You, Brenda,” “Church Bells a’Ringin’,” “Brenda, Choose Your Man,” “She Loves Us, She Loves Us Not” May the best Woodrow win!

Psycho Woodrow Zombies from Hell
Too many late, late, late shows for the Woodrow kids. Yiiikes!!! Seventeen bloodthirsty tracks, including “Gimme Brains,” “Skullcrusher Blues,” “Tasty Brains,” “Entrail Stew,” “Zombie Love,” “Gut Wrench (Literally)”, “Monster Bud,” “The More the Hairy”

Church of the Woodrows
You’ve heard about The Church of Scientology, right? Well, hear the word of the Church of the Woodrow, man! You better get on your knees and pray! Fifteen god-fearing tunes: “Lord as My Shepard,” “Jesus is Cool,” “God Loves all the Little Childrens,” “Let’s Hold Hands and Praise the Lord,” “The Devil, He Tempts Us All,” “Jesus Freaking” and more!!!

Hey Woodrow!
An early one and a surly one for sure. Ten sloppy tunes including “Ditchweed Doug,” “Goldfish Sandwich,” “Robo-Drunk,” “Have Weed Will Travel,” “Marvy’s Little Problem,” “House Arrest,” “Twinkie Farm,” and the Woodrow classic, “A Little Ying and a Lotta Yang.” Brilliant!

Run Woodrow Run!
Good advice if you’re a Woodrow. Running time is ten minutes on this one. That’s enough for thirty raunchy Woodrow gems like “Piss Pants,” “Ricky’s Got a Boner,” “Naked Twister,” “Firecracker,” “Zonked Out,” “Bum Rap (Revisited),” “Just Got Outa Jail and I Feel Like Getting’ F’d Up,” plus 23 more!

Rub-a-Dub Dub Four Woodrows in a Tub
After a two week hiatus the Woodrow Four returned with 1989s slippery soapy sequel: “Better’ n’ Shit,” “Suck-Ass Losers,” “Ralph,” “Your Mama’s a Ho (But I Love Her),” “Rat Bastards,” “S.O.B.,” “Repeat Offenders of the Faith,” “Glue Stick,” “God Hates Me,” and 33 more!

Woodrow Germs
Twenty-seven Woodrow Classics are packed onto this twenty minute limited edition, vinyl only release. Features a blistering cover of The Nuge’s “Cat Scratch Fever,” with originals “Fuck Work,” “Fuck the Government,” “Fuck the Phone Company,” “Fuck Institutions of Higher Learning.” A must have!


Brad McRad said...

My favorite's always gonna be "Balls Deep".

WoodrowFan1 said...

I don't know, dude. That's a good one but I don't see why they had to have Sandy Pearlman produce it. It just doesn't sound right with that kind of production. Gotta admit, "Me and My Testes" is a great tune though.

Brian said...

You guys are nuts. Steam Cleaned is the rulingest Woodrows rec.