Least Popular Halloween Candy

1. Salad Bars

2. Lugged Nuts

3. Kerplops

4. Nougat Knots

5. Sugar Teats

6. Terds

7. Peanut Blisters

8. Corn Chunks
9. Doo-Doo Drops

10. Gristle Pops

FORGOTTON AMERICAN MUSIC MASTERS: Wilma Tilly

WILMA TILLY 
(April 14, 1940-January 19, 1987)

Wilma Tilly was an American country singer known for her string of 1950's Country and Western hits like, "Mama, You Don't Know Nuthin' 'Bout Love" and "Gotta Git Me a New Man 'Cause My Old Man is Broke". Born in Tennessee, in a barn on a pile of burlap bags in 1940, Miss Tilly took Nashville by storm in the 1950s with her school girl look (she was still a school girl) combined with a world-weary outlook on life that was reflected in such songs as "Mama, I Got a Bad Man" and "Why Din't You Tell Me About Bad Men, Mama".

Early Years

Tilly suffered through a series of tragedies at a young age starting with the death of her beloved dog, Freckles, and ending with the deaths of every single member of her immediate and extended family within a three day period of time. These sad events led to a string of somber recordings that so depressed country music fans, President Dwight D. Eisenhower, assigned a national task force to combat what was becoming a nationwide suicide epidemic. The crisis peaked in 1955, when all 500 attendees of a Wilma Tilly concert at the Old Brown Barn in Butterfield, Georgia, made their way to the roof of the one-story auditorium with the intent of jumping to their deaths or at least significantly injuring themselves.

Married Life on the Road

Tilly married her manager, Buck "Bubba" Williams at the age of eleven and had twenty-three children and 253 grandchildren. Despite being pregnant eight straight years, Williams had Tilly on the road touring 364 days per year, performing two shows every Sunday.

Death

Wilma Tilly died in 1987 after battling thirty-seven different types of cancer.

The Bad Tip Prayer

NOW AVAILABLE: Reglar Wiglar #24

A year in the making, Reglar Wiglar is available for public consumption! In this issue, I finish my 3-part Jobs Trilogy. How does it end? Read it and find out. Also "The History of Music," "Forgotten American Music Masters," comics and more—much more. Only $5 plus postage. Worth it at 10x the price! Order several copies today.

The Woodrows Do Disney

The Woodrows Do Disney 

(Woodrow Hill) 1982 

Dang! Your name better not be Mickey when the Woodrows come around. Or Minnie. Or Goofy. Or even Pluto for that matter. Otherwise they might go to work on your skull and whistle while they do it. This classic LP includes the classic songs, "Uncle Screwdged", "Little Bit O' Minnie", "Gettin' Goofy". Huey, Duey, Luey and Toby Woodrow with a baseball bat. Ouch!

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Woodrowphenia

Woodrowphenia 

(Woodrow Hill) 1982 

WoodrowMania is more like it. Nothing is more contagious — or more DANGEROUS! The Woodrows fearlessly went Mod for one entire week in 1982. Features "The Kids are F'd Up", "Shave My Head," "Fired & Fried", "Banana Hammock", "Crackers & Kool-Aid" and more. So many more.

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Drunk Tank

Drunk Tank 

(Woodrow Hill) 1982 

The Woodrows certainly know what it's like to spend time in the drunk tank. They practically live there! This 26 song LP captures all the drunken stupor of a night ill spent. Includes the tracks, "Don't Piss on Me", "Boglogna Samich", "Puke Tie" and too many more! 

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Stoned!

Stoned! 

(Woodrow Hill) 1982 

More of a spoken world album than actual music, this 45 minute LP captures the Woodrows live in their basement practice space as they try in vain to tune their instruments after pulling multiple bong hits. This one is strictly for Woodrows completists. Everyone else is going to feel really ripped off after spending good money for this half-baked gibberish. 

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

All F'd Up

(Really Rad) 1982

When the Woodrows recorded this album it was not the first time they entered the studio "all f'd up" and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Instead of writing a bunch of songs The F'd Up Four decided to do one 30 minute drunken jam over two sides of an LP. It ain't pretty and it ain't listenable, but it's definitely pure Woodrows!

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Woodrows Germs

(Woodrow Hill) 1981 

You better cross your fingers nice and tight if you don't want to contract Woodrows Germs, my friend. And you better make sure your shots are up to date 'cause the Woodrows' sure ain't. Features "Foaming at the Mouth", "I Got the Stomach Flu for You", "Puke City" and 29 more!!

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Grab Ass: The Ballads

(RoosterCow) 1982 

Before there was such a thing as "Trump/Pence 2016", there were the equally vile Woodrows. The thing about these boys though, they NEVER got a way with it, because they weren't rich, they weren't famous, and they sure as hell ain't good looking -- but, neither is The Donald!

No one ever accused the Woodrows of being sensitive (at least not to their faces), but the lads do have a softer side. That's evident as shit on this twenty-two track album of classic Woodrow love tunes. Includes the touching "Won't You Touch it One More Time?," the soulful "Love Stick" and the heartbreaking stench of "Dutch Oven". There won't be a dry eye left in your head after you sit through this thirteen minute tour de force. (That's French, ya'll!)

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Bread and Water

Bread & Water

(Really Rad) 1982 

The Woodrow's third album of 1982 was not their best, not even close, but what do you expect, all twenty-seven tracks were recorded from the Langlade County Jail! There are a few diamonds in the rough, however, including the incendiary, "Someone Dropped A Dime," "I Didn't Know That's What 'Punk' Meant," "I'm Not A Punk," "Hands Above the Sheets" and more! An arresting album to say the least!

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Dü You Remember?

Slap Me If You Ever Hear Me Say...

Beer, Bräts and Broads II

Beer, Bräts and Broads II

(Woodrow Hill) 1982

No one wanted another Beer, Bräts and Broads bash — not even Woodrows fans — but the fearsome foursome were never ones to get enough of a bad thing. The second year of this would-be annual festival of crushed testicles would indeed be the last, but not before the Woodrows would rip through a blistering five minutes set of classic tunes before simultaneously passing out onstage. Not a pretty sight by anyone's standards!

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!

Classic Woodrows Albums: Crunch Time

Crunch Time

(Woodrow Hill) 1981

When the Woodrows entered the studio to record their tenth full-length album of 1981, it really was crunch time — they hadn't written a single song! You know how the Woodrows give a shit about quality, right? They don't! Lucky for us they recorded forty-seven classic punk tunes anyway, including "Your Amp's Not Plugged in, Erin", "Is This Mic On?," "Grab Me a Beer While You're Up," and the epic, "Do We Have Enough for an Album Yet?" All killer, ALL filler!

Visit the Woodrows' Discography Page on reglarwiglar.com for more great albums!