Wednesday, March 14, 2007

World Problem

A car leaving Pittsburgh, PA at 1:15pm, on a Tuesday, travelling at an average speed of 65mph on a highway that hasn’t been repaved since 1996, will arrive in Akron, OH at what time? I should mention that it is sleeting and there are large patches of black ice covering most of the two-lane highway. Oh, and I almost forgot, there are three sumo wrestlers riding in the car and they’re eating a bucket of hot wings from Pizza Hut. The car is a 1993 Ford Escort and a monkey is driving. The monkey has had two beers and a shot of Makers.

4 comments:

Shipping / Receiving said...

The car is older than the road, that's got to be the key.

Shipping / Receiving said...

Start

Pittsburgh, PA US Revise | New Directions
End

Akron, OH US Revise | New Directions

Total Est. Time: 1 hour, 52 minutes

Total Est. Distance: 110.10 miles
http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&rmm=1&un=m&cl=EN&ct=NA&rsres=1&1ffi=&1l=&1g=&1pl=&1v=&1n=&2ffi=&2l=&2g=&2pl=&2v=&2n=&1pn=&1a=&1c=pittsburgh&1s=pa&1z=&2pn=&2a=&2c=akron&2s=oh&2z=&r=f

Office Manager said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Office Manager said...

Correct: a little under 2 hours. Monkeys are notoriously lead-footed and will compensate for the adverse weather conditions by driving extra fast. The whiskey will further impair the monkey's judgement, making him feel perfectly safe while flying over the dangerous patches of black ice.

Congratulations! You would have won a brand new automobile, except for the fact that, as an employee of of the Reglar Wiglar, you are ineligble to play and therefore disqualified.

And of course, you're fired now as well.