War on two fronts

It's not even December 1st, but opposing forces are already gathering for another round of battles in the neverending, and very, very, very real War on Christmas. At the same time, defenders of American Founding Fathers' Paranoid-hetero-protestant-caucazoid Heritage are bravely launching a new offensive in the War on Cartoon Characters. Leading the charge against Happy Feet while fending off attacks from Crate and Barrel and retaking Wal-Mart? Certainly the right wars at the right time, but can they win? We can only hope that they've learned the lesson of Vetnam - "We'll succeed, unless we quit".

In related news: Kenny Kramer, a.k.a. "the real Kramer" of Seinfeld folklore, has been getting hate mail from confused ex-fans of Michael Richards.
A new study reveals a direct link between mental illness and 21st century Republicanism.
The entire species of red-winged blackbirds are risking extinction to perpetuate liberal "Global Warming" hoax. Watchdog organizations are advised to update their lists of known secular propaganda organizations.

Message Left On My Cell Phone

Maybe someone can explain to me what this means. I'm not P, by the way.


"Hey P this is Rocky, man. Gimme a call back, man. This chick wanna know if she can pay you a few dollars, or whatever, a-a-a to a, I guess, umm, to pay for her a-a-a, I mean she'll pay you for a-a-a, she'll pay you for a . . . dang . . . on a dag . . . whatchoo call that? Damn! A dock statement! You don't need to fill out nuthin. She talkin' 'bout she just needs a slip. That's a quick 25-30 bucks, so if you can get ahold a one of them let me know. Holla. This is Shakur."

Rush Limbaugh vs. Gibby Haynes!

From sometime in the early 1990s:

Clerics on the radio(!)

Tim Davison sent us an email!:

Hello there friend of the Clerics.
The Clerics are performing tonight Friday Nov 10, live on the radio, WHPK 88.5. We'll be on the Pure Hype show somewhere around 9pm. Tune in if you can.
Tim

Rev. Ted Haggard's (REAL) Myspace page!!!

Favorite movie: Napoleon Dynamite
Also this:

Zing!

Blog entry!

Damn. We were busy trying to scrape together $1,010.00 or so to get Randy Blythe a few pints of Old Grand Dad and a ticket to this. Two problems: we're pretty much broke, and L.o.G will be yodeling at goat-herders that night anyway.

Speaking of bands we got to first, have you had enough of the distressingly smug Hold Steady hype campaign?
If not, well, here, check this out. We started it.

Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass

There is a new Yo La Tengo album and it has a bunch of songs that start and then go on for a while and then end. The songs are enjoyable, as is the album as a whole. You can buy it on cd or on vinyl lp, or you can even pay to download it from a website. Or I suppose you could even find a place to download it for free, if you don't have an ethical problem with or a fear of being punished for doing that sort of thing. Nevertheless, in addition to the many ways you can get the music, there are even more "places" to find reviews to read. As far as we're concerned here, though, the most important thing about the record is it's cover, and specifically it's artist - the inspirationally indefatiguable Gary Panter - with whom we conducted an exclusive interview, which you can read by manouvering your computer mouse over and clicking this line of text.

Iggy + the Stooges' concert rider contract thing!

The Stooges! Funnier than Three Stooges!

Americans use Nielsen Ratings to Give Referendum on Torture

Laura Ingraham on The O’Reilly Factor:

“The average American out there loves the show 24, ok? They love Jack Bauer. . . in my mind that’s as close to a national referendum that it’s ok to use tough tactics against high-level al-Qaeda operatives as we’re gonna get.”

Good point Laura, I think we should base our entire foreign policy on popular TV shows. But why stop there?

-Americans loves The Sopranos maybe Wall Street should adopt their business model?

-Americans loves American Idol, why not change the voting system so that we can use our cell phones to vote for our favorite candidates in elections?

-Americans loves Survivor, should we bring back segregation so that different races can compete against each other in education, business, sports, etc?

-Americans love Jackass, shoud we tie you and Bill O’Reilly to a rocket and shoot you into a lake? Actually you may be on to something there, Ingraham.

If that statement didn't illustrate how out-of-touch Ingraham is, she also made this obersvation:

“The Red Hot Chili Peppers are actually a pretty good group.”

I rest my case.

"Happiness Runs" by Donovan on a cereal commercial

I can't for the life of me come up with a more appropriate tune, but I can't help but feel that the culture would be better served by having a Donovan song called "Fruity Cheerios".

Lamb of God

L.O.G. dropped a new disc last week so we thought it only fitting to provide you this link (click on the title of this post) to an archived interview the Reglar Wiglar conducted in 2001 with the then, less-than-huge metal gods from lil' ol' RVA.

RIP: Elvis Presley's Teddy Bear

Dog Destroys Elvis' Teddy Bear at Museum
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS



Elvis and Mabel, together again.

LONDON (AP) -- A guard dog has ripped apart a collection of rare teddy bears, including one once owned by Elvis Presley, during a rampage at a children's museum.

''He just went berserk,'' said Daniel Medley, general manager of the Wookey Hole Caves near Wells, England, where hundreds of bears were chewed up Tuesday night by the 6-year-old Doberman pinscher named Barney.

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. The bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.

The collection, valued at more than $900,000, included a red bear made by Farnell in 1910 and a Bobby Bruin made by Merrythought in 1936.

The bear with Elvis connections was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis, Tenn., and had loaned it to the museum.

''I've spoken to the bear's owner and he is not very pleased at all,'' Medley said.

A security guard at the museum, Greg West, said he spent several minutes chasing Barney before wrestling the dog to the ground.

Don't Call Me Bro

You don't know me

I had eighty dollars in my wallet last night
I got two right now. A bro would know what happened to that seventy-eight
If you don't know, don't call me bro

That girl ripped my heart out
Did it with a smile
What was her name again?
If you don't know, don't call me bro

You know that actor I don't like
That smug little prick . . . Colin something?
What was that movie he was in that I thought sucked?
If you don't know, don't call me bro

I am not your brother and I am certainly not your bro
In fact, I don't think I would like you even if I got to know you
So get this through your stupid hipster head:
If you don't know me, don't call me bro

Asshole

Dissin' On the Groove (1989)

THIS IS LIFE.

Has someone ever dissed on your groove? Stepped on your buzz? Really pissed you off? Well no shit, Sherlock. Wake up and smell the ozone burning, if it's not hurricanes and earthquakes, it's American Gladiators and did you know they're gonna chop down those trees in your backyard and build a multi-level shopping facility? That's right. I give this planet another six million years tops. So don't take any shit. Great men like Johnny Depp won't be around forever and you'll be a strung out drug addict on a midnight crack attack by the time you're twenty-two years old.

For all these very heinous reasons "Dissin' on the Groove" is here: to be that righteously rad beacon of eternal hope in a world where even ALF is sportin' a tie-die. Even the hippies realized the shit started long before Timothy Leary was a gleam in his daddy's eye, so open your eyes your underwear's burnin' and there's not enough Bud Light and Bartles and James in the world to put out this fire 'cause it's not your underwear, it's your brain, the other retainer of undigested glop that looked a whole lot better in the commercial but goddamn if your Quilted White Cloud doesn't feel like a very fine grade of sandpaper. Remember this is not your father's Oldsmobile so you better learn how to drive a fuel injected, four door, turbo stick lest you be no less or more than a crushed beer can under a combat boot. You can't hide under the funky hypnotic love table forever.

REMEMBER: the Messiah has been resurrected in the form of disco and everything is relative, nothing's absolute, Pepsi sucks, and Dissin' on the Groove offers no promises to a future generation. This is a test and only a test in a nation whose only will to live lies on the fact that Elvis was spotted buying biscuit mix at White Hen Pantry.

WE MAY FLOP, but as great Zen Master Stinkin' Jason Sanders once put it, "If we flop we shall do so righteously." So read D.O.G. and obtain infinite wisdom. Read and obey D.O.G. and hit the fast forward button on your remote control past the tenth level of HELL and reach a total state of enlightenment. It is obtainable. Read Think React and if you want to take this sacred parchment and wipe your ass with it, DO SO NOW, butt if this is your intention, please remove the staple from the upper left-hand corner of this page, it might cause you pain and that's not what we're about. What we're about is PEACE, LOVE, and MOTHERSCRATCHER!

*********************************************

That was from a underground newspaper called "Dissin' On the Groove" that I published with my roommate, Chris Till in Corcoran Hall at DePaul University in 1989. It was recently unearthed in my closet. It was written after about four cups of coffee and a couple shots of generic Nyquil. I drank the coffee so I could stay up and study, then realized, as I often did when confronted with such tasks, that I had no intention of studying but would rather go to sleep, thus the cough syrup. So anyway that's when I cranked out the above stream of conscience rant so popular with 19 year old would-be writers. "Dissin' On the Groove" survived for one whole issue. It pretty much died after I got the hell out of the dorm. It was photocopied on the sly and on DePaul's dime on a copymachine in the basement of McGaw Hall. It was tpyed up on a Sears electric typewriter which I eventually sold for $10 when I got my first computer four years later.

D.O.G. contained, among other things too amateur and embarrassing to mention, a schedule for the college radio station WRDP, a short piece written by one of the resident campus socialists called "Human Rights. Radical Concept?" ('Nuff said.),
a Calendar of Events compiled by my roommate Chris Till (Alien Sex Fiend at the Metro!), a fiction and poetry section which featured a poem that actually contained this line (not written by me I swear to God), "Cold, so cold is a life wasted reaching for eternity (the afterlife)." Yikes! AND a poem called "C'Est si Bon" that actually contained this stanza (not written by me either),

"How I wish I could fly and bid adieu to pain and loneliness
never again to land in its somber cave
so happiness could prosper with in my soul"

There was also funny essay, "How to Write Heavy, Deep, Symbolic Poetry" by Stinkin' Jason Sanders which washed away the bitter aftertaste of the above poetry. There was also a short story about a guy named Snake LaMatia by a girl I don't remember.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Creator of the Philly cheesesteak dies

PHILADELPHIA - Harry Olivieri, who with his brother Pat was credited with inventing the Philly cheesesteak in 1933, had died. He was 90.

Despite a heart condition, Olivieri had showed up at Pat's King of Steaks almost every day until about three years ago. He died of heart failure Thursday at Atlantic City Medical Center in Pomona, N.J., his daughter Maria said.

Harry and his older brother opened a corner hot dog stand near south Philadelphia's Italian Market in 1930.

Three years later, they made the first version of the sandwich that helped put the city on the street food map. Tired of hot dogs, Pat suggested that Harry go to a store and buy some beef. Harry brought it back, sliced it up and grilled it with some onions.

The brothers piled the meat on rolls and were about to dig in when a cab driver arrived for lunch, smelled the meat and onions and demanded one of the sandwiches.

Harry sold the cabbie his own sandwich in a transaction the brothers counted as the birth of Pat's King of Steaks.

Cheez Whiz was added to the steak and onions starting in the 1960s, and provolone, American cheese and pizza sauce later became options in the concoction along with various condiments and side dishes.

Pat Olivieri died in 1970. Harry's son, Frank, now runs the restaurant.

Reglar Wiglar dot Blogspot dot Com

The internet's 1,398,021st most popular blog!

IRONY ALERT!!!!! CODE RED!!!!

Ken Lay, May 25th, 2006:
"And most of all, we believe that God, in fact, is in control, and indeed He does work all things for good for those who love the Lord. And we love our Lord, and ultimately all of these things will work for good."

Ivory Coast Blues

From Helen Kolonga
Rue 6 BP 01 Cocody Abidjan CI
Cote d Ivoire.

+225 08 42 10 57

I do apologize for approaching you from the blues. I was formerly a Medical student of the University of Abidjan, Cote d Ivoire. My parents and my only brother where killed by the current government because my father was an opposition leader.

Before the death of my father, he has $9.5 M USD (Nine Million , Five Hundred Thousand dollars.) in a domiciliary account with a bank in Côte d'Ivoire which i am the next of kin.

I HUMBLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS :
1) To help get this money transferred to you.
2) To serve as the guardian
3) To make an arrangement for me to come over after this money is transferred.
4) To look for a good venture where the money will be invested.

I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation of your effort after a successful transfer.

Your Sincerely,

Helen

Preznit Bush's bestest accomplishment.

BERLIN (Reuters) - U.S. President George W. Bush told a German newspaper his best moment in more than five years in office was catching a big perch in his own lake.

"You know, I've experienced many great moments and it's hard to name the best," Bush told weekly Bild am Sonntag when asked about his high point since becoming president in January 2001.

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound (3.402 kilos) perch in my lake," he told the newspaper in an interview published on Sunday.

100% agreeance on the fish thing.

UPDATE (5/8/06):
Last weekend, Phil Deer, Jr. of Delta, Pennsylvania caught a record setting yellow perch in a pond in Harford County. The perch is the largest ever caught in Maryland and the fourth largest on record in the world. DNR confirmed the perch’s size as 3 pounds, 5 ounces and 16 ¼ inches long, which eclipsed the Maryland record of 2 pounds 6.75 ounces set at Deep Creek Lake in 2003. Worldwide, Deer’s fish places behind a 4 pound, 3 ounce perch caught in New Jersey in 1865; a 3 pound, 12 ounce perch caught in Michigan in 1947; and a 3 pound, 8 ounce perch caught in New York in 1982. All records are for the fresh water division.

Do Zombies Have Noses?

In the midst of production on a new blockbuster poster for the RoosterCow Records record label, I realized that I'm not sure whether or not to render a nose upon the fearsome visage of an undead rock and roll guy! I think it looks pretty good sans le nez (illus. left). My in-depth research so far shakes my confidence a bit, yet stands inconclusive.
I've got Night of the Living Dead up at the top of my Netflix queue, but I'm not sure if it'll arrive before the deadline.
Any expert opinions and insight into this matter would be deeply appreciated.

White Bred & Honky MC

Here's a little bit of trivia for you: What is Rockford, Illinois greatest contribution to the world of Caucasion rap? Why it's White Bred & Honky MC, of course.

Zines for Amoeba petition!

We get letters...


In tandem with my fellow editors of The Big Takeover, Dumb Angel
Gazette, Roctober and Ugly Things, I've launched a petition campaign
asking Amoeba Music to begin carrying zines in their California stores.

Since Amoeba came to Los Angeles, Rhino and Aron's Records have closed
down, leaving us with very few places where independent music zines can be found. Since the management of Amoeba doesn't want to talk with us about carrying zines, we hope we can change their minds by showing them how many music fans would welcome the addition of zines to their
stores.

So please, if you are a music fan and a reader of zines, take a moment
to click below and tell Amoeba that you'd like to be able to find both
in their stores. And spread the word!

http://petitiononline.com/amoeba/petition.html

On behalf of my fellow editors, the artists we review, our printers and folks who like to read in the bathtub, I thank you.

best regards,
Kim
Editrix
Scram

Now, and lord knows I 've tried, I've never been able to read in the bathtub without soaking the paper, but otherwise I support this. Peter Bagge and Eric Oblivian both signed the petition, so come on!

Sophisticated, Powerful Drummer Sought

Revolution.

We are a power and finesse vocalist/harmonica player/songwriter and a bassist/keyboardist/multi-instrumentalist seeking a drummer of equal caliber (John Bonham) for an original and touring band. We will be touring Europe this summer.

We hold real finances to be used for a solid, independent project/partnership. As a vocalist and harmonica player, I have few equals. (Though I also play some guitar, usaully in open tunings for delta blues derivative music, and some percussion, I'm a vocalist.) The bassist, in his sphere, bass/keyboard/mandolin/etc. is equally as authoritative. We will be auditioning for our guitarist seperately and guitar will not be reflected in all the provided recordings.

I speak from the fire and strike heavy with of the sword, in a chorus championing people long oppressed and long suffering. Music is the gift from God to definitively pronounce our uprising and redemption. This means the poor, the meek, and the oppressed.

The name of this band is: The Epsilon Rising.

We are seeking a drummer/percussionist who has a command of dynamics, who creates melodies, and then counter-melodies, and then more in his playing that intermingles with the bass, guitar, and vocals in meaningful ways that goes beyond "just keeping the beat" or "pocket playing". We desire a drummer who gives off the impression of hard-hitting, stick-twisting band foundation at one moment, who equally commands elegants with brushes or a low key ballad. Though jazz IS a must, without the authoritative, aggressive backbone, it would not be appropriate for this band. Our drummer must rock. Equally, the typical "rock" drummer who is just loud and repetitive, or is overly obsessed with counting numbers as in a "Tool-like" fashion would also be inappropriate for this band. Our drummer will be equally concerned with sophistication.

If a song requires an over dub of congas, finger cymbals, tympani, or, maracas, you would have this awareness and the sensibilities to apply them in a thought-provoking way. Consistently, when a person listens to our band, we wish them to hear the drums and say "wow"! An understanding of ROCK/blues/J A Z Z /bluegrass/old country/classical/bossa nova/punk/reggae/etc. is a must and only the tip of the iceberg as of the songs that we will be creating. Whether originals, traditionals, covers, rearrangements -- there are no limitations or rules in our methodology. Simply put, we are seeking the drummer who believes that he has the potential to be the best ever, as part of the greatest band ever, and it is his life ambition to realize that end. While pushing the barriers of percussion, the drummer will elevate are music to an even more profound statement.

Not everyone believes in this in themselves, let alone others. If this is not you, or you do not believe that we are the forum to compliment your talents, or you are in disbelief of this opportunity, remember, there are other bands for you. We wish to hear from people who feel a connection to our music and can actually prove through music that they can create it and enhance our vision.

Our goal is to continually create classic songs that we can call our favorites, to be hyper-jammed out live, with exceptional stage presence. After written and recorded, our songs will still constantly evolve in the live set. The drummer of this band will that take all of us to the rock higher and vice-versa, we WILL inspire and expect the same from you. Though we desire someone in a similar age bracket, 21 - 29, for similarities in life focus (music first), come one, come all. Again, we will be touring Europe starting summer 2006, so any "issues" (girlfriend, school, family, fear) will not work in this situation. You must feel that pursuing music in this way is your destiny. In fact, if you feel that the words that I'm writing are somehow your own ideas, that's what we're talking about.

The less limits you have, the better. Regarding image, the longer the hair, the better. If you believe in revolution through music, and you have your place to prove in the world of musical giants, then this is the opportunity you have been seeking. Ethnicity is encouraged as we are dealing with the reality of God and all man, not just modern white materialistic, celebrity craving "reality", but truly, the counter culture of human reality.

However, be you black, asian, white, latin, indian, etc, if you have the soul (backed by musical recordings), the spirit of music, then it's game as music is color blind; an auric utopia.

This band hails from the mystics and spiritual, exploring dark and light, as we know that Christ is the Forever King at all cross roads, and the that the people are the poor and downtrodden. We view ourselves as champions of that cause, the representation of liberation in the hearts of the people.

I'm not interested in an e-mail or phone liasons as experience tells us that it produces very little. I'm interested in music. As such, we are providing four recordings on the web site that we would like you to listen to gain a perspective of how we are approaching music. To successfully audition for this band, please provide us with as many songs as possible which demonstrates a diverse and masterful understanding of drums and percussion. To make and extra effort, you could overdub drums to the song "Waves" provided on our website and/or provide a drum solo piece. From this we will be able to get a gauge of your essence and creativity. Low quality recordings are fine, so make the recordings happen with whatever means you have, if necessary.

If we feel that the package you send demonstrates our match, then we will fly you to Europe as our drummer. DO NOT REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL WITHOUT INCLUDING THE MUSIC REQUESTED ABOVE AND PICTURE. We ask for a picture because if you are afraid that your image won't go over well, you are probably right. A TOURING musician does not have these insecurities and can not in order to be successful at conveying the imagery that we wish to convey. Nevertheless, music will be the determining factor.

Double read this!!!! ---This is for a serious, DISCIPLINED, dedicated musician who is in our mindset and wishes to audition for this band. Come with the expectations of working, critiquing, being critiqued, long songwriting sessions, use of white boards and notes, discussing theory, long recording sessions, playing out often, being in a bus often, and awful lot of practing and rehearsing, frustrations, communicating, success and fun!!! I mentioned practicing because we plan to continuosly push our limits, and being satisfied with the level we are at is complacency, and not a part of this band. If what we are asking to complete this audition seems demanding, we recognize it is. If you are unable to go this distance, then this band is not for you. There are many others to audition for or create on your own. It is not necessary to critique our expectations, but rather we hope that you take a pro-active approach and create great music that meets your own vision!

Again, we self-critique and explore many variations of our music and covers. What we do not do is compromise our music in order to avoid dissagreements or tension and just "move on". This is a way of life, my life, the bassist's life, and in this band, we struggle with the music until we are all satisfied. Please be in the same mindset and have experience working in this manner. If you can not take constructed criticism, or give it, if you can not focus in on the same song for days and weeks as it evolves, then this band situation is not for you. If what we are saying is does not reflect your personality, save your time and words as this band is not for you -- there are many other bands to audition for to suit your expectations or create a band in your own image. This is for a drummer in our image, and it is not for everyone, but one.

I will mention that this is niether a "straight-edge band" nor "pro-drug" band. We do smoke cannibus but have no expectations for the drummer of this band other than great music. YOUR RECORDINGS, whether professional studio or from a tape deck, will speak for themselves.

Again, in your e-mail response please send a link or attachment to your audition recordings and a recent photograph. Responses without this, will not be considered!!!!


We have links to the rough drafts of the music you will use to understand our music complete your audition at:


http://www.theepsilonrising.com

These are not final products, but will provide plenty enough foundation to successfully provide perspective completing the audition recordings. Again, a drum overdub on the song Waves will mean bonus points, as it shows the effort that we are seeking. We anticipate that it will take you some time to learn and some significant effort.

I must stress that this band has no singular "style", as others have failed to grasp the concept that as musicians we play music. The unifying standard is that the music we produce is consistently classic. The sound sketches here are indicative of different expressions on different days. All of which we wish to develop further in addition to much, much more.
If your audition proves you to be our drummer, we will provide you with airfare to Europe and advance shelter expense as we live as a band together developing our set for the first two to three months.

The drummer who successfully fulfills the audition and that we select will have the option to receive a weekly living advance in addition to shelter cost. This is, in fact, the opportunity for actualization of the musical dream for the drummer in our image and mindset.

----

to stand amongst giants:

led zeppelin - jimi hendrix and the experience - cream - nirvana - pink floyd - radiohead - the doors - weather report - pearl jam (pre no code) - debussy - the velvet underground - the beatles (post revolver) - rage against the machine - charlie patton - bach - robert johnson - the guess who - alice in chains (dirt and beyond) - james brown (early) - the flaming lips - beethoven - blind melon ( later ) - bob marley - jeff buckley- regina spektor - bjork - hawkwind - tori amos - the greatful dead (early) - credence clearwater revival

may we go forward.

List of Fictional Dogs!

Legendary, mythical and fairytale dogs
* Argos, Odysseus's dog.
* Anubis, Ancient Egyptian god with a dog's (or a jackal's) head
* Barghest, English goblin-dog
* Black Shuck, British hound of hell
* Bran, Fionn mac Cumhail's hound
* Cabal, King Arthur's dog (known as "Cavall" in T.H. White's The Once and Future King)
* Canis Major and Canis Minor, Orion's hunting dogs
* Canes Venatici, constellation of the hunting dogs
* Cerberus (demon of the pit), the hound of Hades in Greek mythology (also his brother, Orthrus)
* Cŵn Annwn (Gabriel Hounds), ghost hounds of the land of the dead
* Dip, in Catalan myth
* Fenrir, a monstrous wolf, offspring of Loki and Angrboda in Norse mythology
* Fu Dog, Chinese guardians
* Garm, a four-eyed dog that guarded Hel in Norse mythology
* Gelert, a dog belonging to Llywelyn the Great which gave its name to Beddgelert in Wales
* Hecuba, in Greek mythology, the Queen of Troy, turned into a fierce dog
* Laelaps, in Greek mythology
* Marea, in Greek mythology
* Sirius, in Greek mythology, and star in Canis Major
* Scylla, in Greek mythology
* Qiqirn, in Inuit mythology
* Xolotl, in Aztec mythology
* The Wolf, from Little Red Riding Hood in Grimm's Fairy Tales

Dogs in literature
* Banga, Pontius Pilatus' dog in The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov.
* Bella, Useppe's companion in La Storia (History) by Elsa Morante.
* Big Red, Irish Red and other Irish Setters, protagonists of novels by Jim Kjelgaard, some of which were also Disneyfied
* Boots, narrator of Thy Servant a Dog by Rudyard Kipling
* Boyd, forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan's dog in Kathy Reichs novels
* Buck, the main character in Jack London's Call of the Wild
* Bullseye, Bill Sikes' dog in Oliver Twist
* Čang, his master's (the sea captain) drinking companion in The Dreams of Čang by Ivan Alekseyevich Bunin.
* Cujo the St. Bernard in the novel by Stephen King (later a movie)
* Cyril, the dog in Connie Willis's book about time-travel To Say Nothing of the Dog, in which three men in a boat pass Jerome K. Jerome's Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog!) (you had to be there)
* Dingo, in A Captain at Fifteen by Jules Verne
* the Disreputable Dog, in Lirael and Abhorsen by Garth Nix
* Duchess, the dog who thought she swallowed a patty pan, in Beatrix Potter's The Pie and the Patty Pan
* Duke, Penrod Schofield's Terrier mix in Booth Tarkington's Penrod: His Complete Story
* Hairy Maclary
* Fang, Hagrid's dog, a boarhound (a Mastiff) in the Harry Potter books: (in the movies, Fang is a Neapolitan Mastiff)
* Fluffy, the three-headed dog (similar to Cerberus) in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
* Hank the Cowdog, the crimefighting hero of several novels by John Erickson
* Gaspode, an unusually clever dog who talks, in various Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett
* Greyfriars Bobby, a true story which became the basis of much fiction
* "Hound of the Baskervilles (The)", a Sherlock Holmes tale by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle with the famous line, "They were the footprints of a gigantic hound!"
* Hounds of Tindalos from the Cthulhu mythos
* Howard, the dog in Bunnicula and sequels by James Howe
* Huan, The great wolfhound of Valinor, friend and helper of Beren and Lúthien, in J. R. R. Tolkien's novel The Silmarillion
* Hundred and One Dalmatians (The) by Dodie Smith, subsequently made into a movie by Walt Disney
* Jack from Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.
* Jenny, the star of Maurice Sendak's Higglety-Pigglety Pop, or, There Must Be More To Life
* Jock, from Jock of the Bushveld, by Sir Percy FitzPatrick, a South African classic first published in 1907
* John Joiner, the terrier who rescued Tom Kitten from being made into a pudding by rats in Beatrix Potter's The Roly-Poly Pudding
* Kashtanka, the main character in Anton Chekhov's short story of the same name
* Kep, the Collie, from Beatrix Potter's The Tale of Jemima Puddle-duck and other books
* Lad, a dog by Albert Payson Terhune
* Laddie (a send-up of Lassie) who stars in Discworld alongside Gaspode
* Lassie, a collie, from the novel Lassie Come Home upon which the movie was very loosely based
* Leo (aka Sirius), protagonist of Dogsbody by Diana Wynne Jones
* The mad dog in Oliver Goldsmith's An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog
* Martha, the too-talkative dog of Martha Speaks by Susan Meddough
* Montmorency, the narrator's unruly Fox Terrier in Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog!) by Jerome K. Jerome
* Nana, the Newfoundland dog in Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie
* Nero, the St. Bernard who comes to live with the Wilders in Laura Ingalls Wilder's The First Four Years
* Nop, the Border Collie, from the novel Nop's Trials by Donald McCaig
* Nose E., pooch specialist in clandestine bomb- and narcotic-sniffing, (and his Yorkie apprentices, Golda and Groucho), occasionally called in by Midnight Louie (fur-footed sleuth whose exploits are ghost-written by Carole Nelson Douglas) when a puss just can't I.D. a scent; three pounds of baritone bark hidden by four pounds of Maltese fluff and a red bow to clear his peepers
* Old Dan and Little Ann from Where the Red Fern Grows
* Olive, the Other Reindeer, from the book by Vivian Walsh and J. Otto Siebold, subsequently in the television special produced by Matt Groening
* Patrasche, the dog in A Dog of Flanders by Ouida
* Orson, the black Labrador retriever of Chris Snow in Dean Koontz's novels Seize the Night and Fear Nothing
* "Padfoot", or the nickname commonly referring to Sirius Black's animagus dog form in the Harry Potter novels by J.K. Rowling.
* Pickles, the terrier who kept shop with Ginger the cat in Beatrix Potter's Ginger and Pickles
* The Poky Little Puppy of the children's book written by Janette Sebring Lowry and illustrated by Gustaf Tenggren
* Prince, Jasper King's dog in Margaret Sidney's Five Little Peppers and How They Grew
* Ribsy, companion of Henry Huggins and character in numerous novels for young readers by Beverly Cleary
* Red Dog (novel)
* The dogs of The Tale of Little Pig Robinson by Beatrix Potter: Bob the Retriever; Gypsy; Pirate and Postboy the Greyhounds; Stumpy; Timothy Gyp the Sheepdog; and Tipkins
* Rowf and Snitter, the main characters in Richard Adams' The Plague Dogs
* Scupper, from Margaret Wise Brown's children's book, The Sailor Dog, illustrated by Garth Williams
* Sharik/Sharikov, the dog/man in Mikhail Bulgakov's Heart of a Dog
* Sirius (1944), by Olaf Stapledon, a science fiction novel about a canine Einstein
* Shep, Almanzo's shepherd dog in Laura Ingalls Wilder's These Happy Golden Years and The First Four Years
* The unnamed narrator of Franz Kafka's short story, Investigations of a Dog (1922)
* Tiger, the dog of Arthur Gordon Pym in A Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym by Edgar Allan Poe and its sequel, An Antarctic Mystery by Jules Verne
* Top, the dog of Cyrus Smith in Jules Verne's Mysterious Island
* Toto in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
* Timmy in the Famous Five series of books by Enid Blyton
* Wellington in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time book by Mark Haddon
* White Fang, the main character in Jack London's book of the same name
* What-a-Mess, the accident-prone Afghan puppy in a series of children's books by Frank Muir (later a television series)
* Winn-Dixie, from the book Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo and the 2005 film of the same name
* Yellow Dog Dingo, dog in Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories
* An entire civilization of intelligent dogs evolves in City by Clifford D. Simak

Dogs in film
(Except those eligible for listing below in "Cartoons, animation, puppets")
* Asta, in the various The Thin Man films.
* The basset hound in Avalon.
* Babe (film) featured Border Collies.
* Beethoven, the St. Bernard hero of the movie series Beethoven, Beethoven's 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th...
* Benji had several movies.
* The many dog stars of the mockumentary Best in Show.
* Blood, the talking dog in A Boy and his Dog.
* The film Cats & Dogs postulates an ongoing war dating back to ancient times between cats and dogs. The main character, a Beagle named Lou, is voiced by Tobey Maguire, later better known for portraying Spider-Man.
* Copernicus and Einstein in the Back to the Future trilogy
* Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell, from the film of the same title
* Frank, the alien dog in Men in Black
* George, Katherine Hepburn's dog in Bringing Up Baby
* The many dog stars of Good Boy!, including the main character, Hubble, a Border Terrier, voiced by Matthew Broderick.
* Harvey, Elliot's dog in E.T.
* Homeward Bound and its sequel, featured Chance, (an American bulldog), and Shadow, (a golden retriever) trying to find their way home through the Sierra mountains. (As well as their Himalayan cat-friend, Sassy.)
* Hooch, the Dogue de Bordeaux costar of Turner and Hooch
* Jerry Lee, the German shepherd supposed to be a trained police dog in K-9
* Kerouac, the dog lost by the homeless Jerry Baskin in Down and Out in Beverly Hills
* Lassie Come Home (1943), starring Elizabeth Taylor and Roddy McDowall, many sequels and also a television show. Lassie is always played by a male collie.
* Matisse, Dave Whiteman's Border collie in Down and Out in Beverly Hills
* Michelangelo, St. Bernard Beethoven's double à la The Prince and the Pauper in Beethoven's 4th
* Milo, Stanley Ipkiss' dog in The Mask
* Missy, the St. Bernard girlfriend of Beethoven in Beethoven's 2nd
* Moses, the chalk outline dog in Dogville
* Nanook, the Siberian husky in The Lost Boys
* Old Yeller (1957), a children's film, originally a novel by Fred Gipson
* Otis, the Pug in The Adventures of Milo and Otis
* General Patton's Bull terrier in Patton
* Pac-Man, the vampire pomeranian in Blade: Trinity
* Pete the Pup (or "Petey"), a Pit Bull with a ring around one eye, in the Our Gang (later known as The Little Rascals) shorts produced by Hal Roach and later, MGM. A number of dogs played the role.
* Precious, the white Toy poodle beloved of 'Buffalo Bill' in Silence of the Lambs
* Rin Tin Tin, first dog star, a German Shepherd found in a trench by an American soldier, has appeared in films since 1922. All subsequent dogs in the part have been descendants of the original. Also on television.
* Sam, the dog in Dante's Peak who leaps out of a field of boiling-hot lava to safety in a passing truck
* A transfigured Sirius Black in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
* Shiloh, the beagle featured in Phyllis Reynolds Naylor's internationally popular Newbery Medal- winning book trilogy – Shiloh, Shiloh Season and Saving Shiloh, with more than 7,000,000 books in print. Adapted into three successful films by Carl Borack and Dale Rosenbloom.
* Sparky, the Jack Russell terrier brought back to life by archangel John Travolta in Michael
* Toto in The Wizard of Oz
* Verdell, the Brussels Griffon in As Good as It Gets

Dogs in television
(Except those eligible for listing below in "Cartoons, animation, puppets")
* Brandon, Golden Retriever on Punky Brewster
* Buck from Married... with Children
* Buddy, Veronica Chase's Bulldog on Veronica's Closet
* Bullet the Wonder Dog, Roy Rogers' German Shepherd on The Roy Rogers Show
* Chester, spoiled Pomeranian belonging to Cece Babcock on The Nanny
* Claude, Mrs. Drysdale's Poodle on The Beverly Hillbillies
* Comet, the family Golden retriever on Full House
* Cynthia, Mr. Haney's Basset hound on Green Acres
* Diefenbaker, the half-wolf dog from Due South
* Dreyfus, the St. Bernard mix on Empty Nest
* Duke, Jed Clampett's Bloodhound on The Beverly Hillbillies
* Earnest, Dave Barry's dog on Dave's World
* Eddie (played by Moose and Enzo), the Jack Russell Terrier from Frasier
* Elizabeth Taylor (nee Princess Dandyridge Brandywine) from Sex and the City
* Eric, into which a boy turned, on Woof!
* Fang (or Dog), Columbo's Basset hound
* Flash The Basset Hound from The Dukes of Hazzard
* Fred, "Little Ricky's" puppy in I Love Lucy
* Happy from 7th Heaven
* K-9, a canoid robot in Doctor Who
* K-9 Cop
* Lassie, see Dogs in film, above
* London the Wonder Dog in The Littlest Hobo, Canadian television series in the late 1950s and early 1960s; and the remake circa 1980s.
* Maximillian (Max-a-Million), the Bionic Dog from The Six Million Dollar Man
* Mignon, Lisa Douglas's Yorkshire terrier on Green Acres
* Murray, the Buchmans' Collie-shepherd mix on Mad About You
* Porthos, the Beagle owned by Captain Archer in Star Trek: Enterprise
* Queegqueg, Clyde Bruckman's Pomeranian left to Dana Scully on The X-Files, subsequently eaten by a lake monster
* Rex from Kommissar Rex (aka Inspector Rex and Rex: A Cop's Best Friend), Austrian/German TV series set in Vienna
* Santa's Little Helper from The Simpsons
* Stinky and Nunzio, Dharma's Briard mix and Corgi on Dharma and Greg
* Sugar, the dog of the kitty-killed archaeology grad student in The X-Files
* Tet, Stringfellow Hawke's Bluetick Coonhound from Airwolf
* Tiger from The Brady Bunch
* Tramp, the Douglas family's sheepdog mix on My Three Sons
* Truffles (played by Pussy Galore) Mildred's terrier in the British sitcom George & Mildred
* Vincent, the dog from Lost
* Wishbone, the eponymous Jack Russell Terrier star of a children's educational series featuring literary themes and their application to issues faced by young viewers
* Wubbie
* Yukon King, Sgt. Preston's Husky on Sergeant Preston of the Yukon

Dogs in advertising
* Andrex toilet tissue adverts' puppy
* Bonzo the dog
* Duke, the Golden Retriever entrusted with the secret family recipe for Bush's Baked Beans
* Jasper T. Jowls, hound dog mascot for Chuck E. Cheese's.
* Lucky, fluffy terrier mascot for the More Than insurance company in a long-running series of UK television advertisements
* McGruff the Crime Dog, public service mascot for The National Crime Prevention Council.
* Moose, Jack Russell Terrier with many advertising credits
* Nipper, the RCA mascot
* Spuds Mackenzie, beer mascot
* Taco Bell mascot, a Chihuahua
* Target commercials' Bull Terrier
* Ubu, Labrador Retriever, mascot of Ubu Productions which produced Family Ties

Cartoons, animation, puppets
* Ace, The Bat-Hound, a Black and Straw GSD and a member of the Batman mythos of DC comics
* characters from the animated film All Dogs Go to Heaven
* Andy, the faithful St. Bernard in the comic strip Mark Trail
* The Angriest Dog in the World, from the comic strip by David Lynch
* Anubis "Doggie" Cruger
* Astro from The Jetsons
* Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy by Hanna-Barbera
* Baby Cinnamon, friend of Hello Kitty
* Bad Dog! An early animated computer screen saver
* characters from the animated film Balto
* Bandit, Jonny Quest's terrier
* Barkley, a Muppet character from Sesame Street
* Beauregard, the Bloodhound in Walt Kelly's Pogo
* Beekay (B.K.), Winston's lapdog in Freefall (webcomic) (B.K. stands for Bunny Killer - he kills dust bunnies!)
* Belle, the white mountain dog, co-star of Belle et Sébastien
* B. H., Calcutta (Failed), the bloodhound with no sense of smell in British comic strip The Perishers
* Bill, a cocker dog from the comic strip Boule et Bill
* Black Bob, formerly from the British comic The Dandy
* Blue and Magenta in Blue's Clues
* Bolivar, Donald Duck's dog
* Boot, companion of the boy Wellington in The Perishers
* Brain, from Inspector Gadget
* Brian Griffin, cynical, substance-abusing, talking dog on Family Guy
* Bruno, apparently a bloodhound cross, in Disney's Cinderella
* Burp, in Gerald McBoing Boing
* Butch the Bulldog
* CatDog, eponymous star of the Nickelodeon TV show. See also List of fictional cats
* Chacha, a dog reincarnated into a toy car, but still keeping a dog-like appearance. He is from the anime I Love Bubu Chacha
* Charlie Dog, "Looney Tunes" character created by Chuck Jones
* Churchill, a bulldog in the form of a talking "nodding dog" car accessory, from UK television ads for Churchill insurance. Originally voiced by Vic Reeves.
* Clifford the Big Red Dog
* Colonel Grogg
* Commander K-9, sidekick/subordinate of Marvin the Martian
* Constable Bulldog, a very gruff, no-nonsense police officer from Henry's Cat.
* Corneil, talking dog from Corneil and Bernie.
* Courage the Cowardly Dog
* Cubitus, the fat round white dog, from the eponymous Belgian comic by Dupa (in the English version of the cartoon series, Cubitus is known as Wowser)
* Daisy, the Dagwood Bumstead family dog in Blondie
* Deputy Dawg
* Dijon the Thief
* Dinah the Dachshund
* Dino in The Flintstones, a metaphorical dog (biologically a dinosaur, but imbued with the characteristics of a pet canine)
* Dinsdale, the dog from Rubbish, King of the Jumble.
* Dogbert, the assertive dog owned by the unassertive Dilbert
* Dogg, whose exposure to the fictional mutagen "quantum juice" gave him human-level intelligence and speech (from Milestone Comics' Blood Syndicate)
* Dogmatix, faithful companion to Obelix in the English translations of the Asterix comic books
* Dogtanian, the three Muskehounds and the majority of the other characters in the series
* Doggy, the West Highland White Terrier owned by the Laotian Souphanousinphones family in King of the Hill
* Doidle, spoiled dog of Vicky in The Fairly OddParents.
* Dollar, the Rich family dog from Richie Rich who's a "Dollarmatian" (like a Dalmatian, but with dollar signs instead of spots).
* Dr. Doppler, humanoid canine in Disney's Treasure Planet
* Dougal, a hairy philosophical dog in stop-motion animated show The Magic Roundabout (called "Pollux" in the French original)
* Droopalong, Sheriff Ricochet Rabbit's sidekick
* Droopy Dog, from cartoons created by Tex Avery for MGM
* Dynomutt, Dog Wonder
* Ein the corgi in the anime series Cowboy Bebop
* Einstein, Doc Brown's dog in Back to the Future
* Elektra, the dog of Cathy
* The Family Dog
* Far Side dogs, the many dogs in Gary Larson's The Far Side cartoons
* Fat Dog Mendoza
* the foot stool in Beauty and the Beast
* Fifi the Peke, Pluto's girlfriend
* Fifi, Lynda Barry's Poodle with a Mohawk - "You'll never call him Fifi again!"
* Fifi, the Finsters' family pet in Rugrats
* Filya, on the TV screens since 1970s in the Russian (formerly Soviet) Good night, the little ones! (Russian: Спокойной ночи, малыши!)
* Florence Ambrose, a genetically-engineered "Bowman's Wolf" in the comic strip Freefall
* Foo-Foo
* characters in Disney's The Fox and the Hound
* General Snozzie
* Gnasher and his son Gnipper, from the British comic strips Dennis the Menace and Gnasher and Gnipper
* Goofy, Disney character, a dog with human characteristics
* Goopy Geer, Merrie Melodies character
* Goddard, in Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
* Grimm, of the comic strip Mother Goose and Grimm
* Gromit, of Wallace and Gromit from Nick Park's Aardman Animations claymation films
* Mrs. Half-Nelson
* Babyface Half-Nelson
* Hotdog, Jughead's dog in the Archie comics
* Hector the Bulldog from various Sylvester and Tweety cartoons
* Hong Kong Phooey, star of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon of the same name
* Huckleberry Hound, a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character
* Hush Puppy, one of Shari Lewis's puppets
* Idéfix, faithful companion to Obelix in the original French Asterix comic books
* characters in Walt Disney's Lady and the Tramp
* Jasper, Brian Griffin's effeminate gay cousin, Family Guy
* Kipper, of the children's books and animated series "Kipper the Dog"
* Krypto, The superpowered pet dog of Superman, in DC comics.
* Ladybird, the Hills' pet bloodhound, in King of the Hill
* Leader Dog
* Little Brother, Mulan's dog in Disney's Mulan
* Loyal Heart Dog - a Care Bears cousin
* Marc Antony, Looney Tunes character
* Marmaduke, a Great Dane with an eponymous daily comic strip
* Max Goof, son of Goofy
* Menchi, a Chow Chow, pet and "emergency ration" of Excel in Excel Saga
* Mighty Manfred the Wonder Dog, Tom Terrific's companion on Captain Kangaroo
* Muttley, Dick Dastardly's sidekick in Wacky Races, Dastardly and Muttley in their Flying Machines and Yogi's Treasure Hunt
* Mr. Peabody, from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show
* Mulch, the Sage's dog from Groo the Wanderer
* Mumbly
* Odie in Garfield
* Officer Gertalin
* characters in Disney's Oliver and Company
* characters in One Hundred and One Dalmatians
* Penny Dog, a friend of Minnie Mouse
* Percy in Disney's Pocahontas
* Pero, the dog (who is eventually turned into a cyborg) of Higeoyaji in the manga Astro Boy
* Pluto, Disney character, a dog with dog characteristics
* Pochacco, friend of Hello Kitty
* Pooch, a minor character in “Sinfest”
* Poodle Princess from Roobarb and Custard Too.
* Pooka in 20th Century Fox's Anastasia
* Prince Eric's dog in Disney's The Little Mermaid
* Pup Parade
* Radar, the Hound Supreme (a pastiche of Krypto, from Alan Moore's revisionism of Supreme)
* Rantanplan, of the Lucky Luke comics
* Reddy, of Hanna-Barbera's Ruff and Reddy
* Ren Höek, the asthma-hound Chihuahua in Ren and Stimpy
* Rex, Wendy, Bob & Vince from Rex the Runt
* Robowan, friend of Hello Kitty
* Rocky, main character in Swedish comic Rocky
* Roobarb, title character of a British cartoon series
* characters in Rude dog and the Dweebs
* Rosebud, the basselope (Basset hound/Antelope mix) in Berkeley Breathed's comic strip Bloom County
* Rowlf, the piano-playing Muppet dog from The Jimmy Dean Show and The Muppet Show
* Rufferto, Groo The Wanderer's dog.
* Sam Sheepdog, adversary of Ralph Wolf from Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf (Looney Tunes)
* Samson, from the Belgian Samson and Gert television series
* Sandy, Little Orphan Annie's dog (known for saying "Arf")
* Santa's Little Helper, from The Simpsons
* Satchel Pooch in Get Fuzzy
* Scamp, Disney character, a puppy born to the dogs Lady and the Tramp
* Scooby-Doo, a Great Dane with cropped ears.
* Scooby-Dum, a Great Dane with cropped ears.
* Scrappy-Doo, Scooby-Doo's nephew.
* Seymour, Philip J. Fry's dog in 1999, as seen in the Futurama episode Jurassic Bark
* Slinky in Disney's Toy Story
* Snert, Hagar's dog in Dik Browne's comic strip Hagar the Horrible
* Snoopy in Peanuts
* Snowy in The Adventures of Tintin
* Sparky, the gay dog from South Park
* Spike in Peanuts
* Spike or Butch, bulldog from the Tom and Jerry cartoons
* Spike the Bulldog and Chester the Terrier from Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies
* Spike, the family dog in Rugrats
* Spot the dog, UK cartoon character
* Spotty Dog a Dalmatian string puppet in The Woodentops on BBC
* Tatty Oldbitt the Sailors' Friend, in The Perishers
* James Thurber's many cartoon dogs in "The Pet Dept." advice column, "The Bloodhound and the Bug," et al.
* characters in Disney's Toy Story and Toy Story 2
* Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog on Late Night with Conan O'Brien
* 2 Stupid Dogs
* Underdog, superhero from the cartoon series by the same name, and his main squeeze, Sweet Polly Purebred.
* Wannyan, (Bow-Meow in English version) a half-dog half-cat alien from the anime series Da! Da! Da! a.k.a. UFO Baby
* Wile E. Coyote (a coyote) in the Road Runner cartoon
* Wilewolf, a tramp wolf from anime Maple Town Stories
* A wolfpack forms an alliance with a tribe of elves in Elfquest

Dogs in song
* "Atomic Dog" by George Clinton
* "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin
* "Big Dog" by Rolf Harris
* "There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-O!"
* "Bird Dog" by the Everly Brothers (only metaphorically a dog)
* "Bow Wow Wow Wow (Wild dog on the prowl)" sung by Mitch Ryder with Was (Not Was)
* "Dogs" by Pink Floyd from the Animals album, referring to vicious people
* "Dog Eat Dog", songs by AC/DC and Adam and the Ants
* "Dog Song" by Nellie McCay is about the comfort felt by dog owners
* Hank the Cowdog sings (see "Dogs in Literature" above)
* "Hound Dog", as sung by Big Mama Thornton and Elvis Presley (only metaphorically a dog)
* "How Much is That Doggie in the Window?", popular song by Bob Merrill, 1953, recorded by Patti Page
* "I Love My Dog", by Cat Stevens
* "I Wanna Be Your Dog", as performed by Iggy Pop and The Stooges
* Jake in "Feed Jake" by the Pirates of the Mississippi
* "Jingle Bells" as performed by the Singing Dogs
* "Knuckles, the Dog Who Helps People" by Killdozer
* "Let Sleeping Dogs Die" by The Mission UK
* "Little Gomez", the Chihuahua in the song of the same name by Eric Bogle
* "Me and You and a Dog Named Boo" by Peter Shelley, Lobo
* "Old Dog Tray" by Stephen Foster
* "Old Shep" as sung by Elvis Presley and many other country performers
* "Old Tige"
* "One Man and His Dog", English folk song
* Peter and the Wolf by Sergei Prokofiev
* Seamus in song by same name (Meddle album) by Pink Floyd
* "Shannon" by Henry Gross
* "Sick as a Dog" by Aerosmith
* The dog who "up and died" in "Mr. Bojangles"
* "The Dogs of War" by Pink Floyd (a metaphor created by William Shakespeare)
* Where, O Where Has My Little Dog Gone?, with his ears cut short and his tail cut long
* Who Let the Dogs Out? by Baha Men
* A dog that won't get off the furniture in "Get Down" by Gilbert O'Sullivan
* "Longview" by Green Day speaks of "felling like a dog in heat"
* "Dog Years" by RUSH makes reference to Sirus the Dog Star

Dogs in video games
* Dribble from WarioWare, Inc.
* K.K. Slider from Animal Crossing and Animal Crossing: Wild World
* Poochy, from Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island and Yoshi's Story
* Miscellaneous Pokemon characters, including Growlithe, Arcanine, Houndour, Houndoom, and others.
* Angelo, Rinoa's dog in Final Fantasy VIII
* Interceptor, Shadows dog in Final Fantasy VI

Fast Food 101

Essay Question:

Is it possible for a hamburger to have "attitude"? Give at least five examples which support your position pro or con.

EXCLUSIVE!!! : "Jandek on Corwood Easter Egg featuring Paul Johnson in a Reglar Wiglar t-shirt" activation instructions

1. Insert Jandek on Corwood DVD into player.
2. Select "Special Features" menu.
3. Scroll down to "Return to Main Menu"
4. Press left (<) directional arrow on remote control.
5. Watch Chic-A-Go-Go segment featuring a cast of dozens (including Tina Martin-Finch and Roostercow Records recording artist L. Paul Johnson) awkwardly dancing to a groovy Jandek instrumental (which, after reviewing this comprehensive discog., I think may be titled, appropriately enough "This Is For You").

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Heh, heh. Oh sorry. How rude of me to laugh like that when you don't know what's so funny. I was just thinking about how, when the Reglar Wiglar first started, instead of interviewing real bands we just made up the interviews and the bands. Like this 1996 "interview" with Mirage, a band that seems eerily similar to a certain egotistical British band that was quite popular at the time. Hahahahahahhahaha!! I hope you enjoy it, I sure did. Hahahahahahahaha!!

Web Site Down!

Just so you know, in case you were wondering, if you even care, the Reglar Wiglar Web site is being blocked by my old hosting company. This issue is currently being looked into by our legal counsel, Jim Willie Jr., Esq. and should be resolved by week's end. Thank you for your patience and do check back for updates.

Now scram!

This is a test.

Click to play...

NEW! Record Reviews

Alright Pimps, here's some new stuff that slipped into the Reglar Wiglar offices after the last issue went to print:

ADAM ARCURAGI
Adam Arcuragi (High Two)
This is Philadelphian singer/songwriter, Adam Arcuragi's untitled first album. And you know, I don't typically go for such earnest and heartfelt crooning such as this, but after giving this CD a couple plays that still hold true. The effort, nonetheless, is appreciated—Bow Diddley

HEALTHY WHITE BABY
Healthy White Baby (Broadmoor)
I'm not familiar with the bands The Blacks or Blue Mountain from whence HWB members once hailed, but I do enjoy the sound on this recording. Kinda folksy, kinda rock, gots kind of a 70s feel to it for some reason I can't exaclty pinpoint. 70s in a good way, though. Don't mistake my meaning. Don't care much for the name, but even so the HWB done right by me musically, and in a my advanced age that's all I ask—Irresistbile Frank

THE KRUNCHIES
In De Winkel (Criminal IQ)
Holy shit. Holy shitt. Hot shittt. Krunchies lay it down fast and furious. Don't know what a In De Winkel is. I know what a Rip Van Winkle is. I know what a Rob Van Winkle is but I sure don't know what a In DeWinkel is. I think I knew in college but anyway, I think it must surely mean the music made when three freaks make punk rock music—Joey Germ

M.O.T.O.
Raw Power (Criminal IQ)
Oh, the M.O.T.O. and that rock and roll they do so well, so effortlessly. Granted, this ain't the wheel Caporino and crew are reinventing here but it satisfies a certain part of the brain that finds comfort in the familiar. Songs about physics class ("Getting It Up for Physics"), meeting by the flagpole ("Meet Me by the Flagpole") and getting drunk alone ("Gonna Get Drunk Tonight"), generate a certain and undeniable nostalgic feeling in the listeners synapses. That's raw power, professor—Jimminy Van Tuffet

THE PHENOMS
Home Brain Surgery Kit (Beer Can)
Home-made rock and roll from Chicago. Dirty, sloppy, crude, spastic, unrelenting, stoopid, mind melting home-made rock and roll from Chicago. The Phenoms aren't just owners of the Home Brain Surgery Kit, they're also a client—Joey T. Germ

THE POLKAHOLICS
Polka Uber Alles (seff-released)
(Pretend there's an umlat up there on the U in Uber.) The Reglar Wiglar has been a Polkaholics booster for years, since back in the days when Jumpin' George and Merry Mike were the Polka-nist rhythm section on the nort' side or the sout' side for that matter. But it's not just polka, there's elements of rock and roll thrown in there so even the baby boomers can dig it. And am I crazy or is that a tip of the hat to Television's "Marquee Moon" on "Pimps of Polka"? Brilliant. Now if you'll excuse me, my brat is ready—P.C. Jones

SELF-EVIDENT
Self-Evident's Epistemology (DPG)
As everyone knows epistemology is the part of philosophy that studies the nature knowlege and shit like that. What is self-evident is that this is some indie math rock from Oklahoma. It's like a prog rock emo band. That is what is self evident. What may not be so self-evident is that I am not a flag waiver of any of those particular genres. Well, I do have a few Yes albums, but I bought those mostly for the album covers (you know what I'm talking about) so listening to Self-Evident's treatise on the nature of knowledge is not something that I am enjoying—Pig Patterson

THE WILLIS
Bathtub, Lightbulb, Heartattack (DPG)
The Willis have kind of an early 90s indie rock sound. It's reminding me at times of American Music Club and Pavement which are two bands that I dig but have not listened to in quite awhile. It's ago ok to go back there. Some of my mid 90s wounds have healed and I can listen to this and deal with the painful memories. Beside if the 80s are back now, can the 90s be far behind. We just have to get through the grunge revival first. Look for that to start hitting in 2008—Sneaky Petes

"HOW Y'ALL FEEL TOOOONIGHT? I wanna know... how many people here tonight LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL! COME ON PITTSBURGH, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!!"

Laaaaadieeeeeezzzzzz ayyyyy-und-uh gentullllllmaaaaa-uhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. MISTER! PAUL! STANLEY!!!!

Highlights:
Track 9, "Just because this is the smallest crowd we've played for on this tour, doesn't mean you can't be the LOUDEST!"
Track 12, "Atlantic Citaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! People, can you hear me? "
Track 26, Paul warns the crowd that, even though there are police in the stadium, he is armed with "a six shooter of sex", an "uzi of oooze".
Track 33, playing good cop to Joey DeMaio's bad.
Track 54, searching for the cure to "rock and roll pneumonia".
Track 68, Paul asks the fans to raise their children (!) in the air so he can see "the future Kiss army".

R.I.P. Pig Champion

Thomas "Pig Champion" Roberts, guitarist for POISON IDEA, died at his home in Portland, Oregon, Monday night (Jan. 30). A founding member of the seminal punk band, he continued to appear with POISON IDEA throughout the late Nineties and into the new millennium, despite officially quitting the band in 1993. Variously described as "spectacularly fat," and "the single largest man in hardcore history," Roberts crowned himself "Pig Champion" after hitting an impressive 450 lbs. on the scales. The highly regarded guitarist was revered by a devoted following worldwide. No further information is available at this time.

From the 'Where Are They Now?' file

If you're the CEO of a big corporation, and you need help with your company's taxes, maybe you should call up Killdozer's Michael Gerald!
Likewise, if you're making a major motion picture (say, for instance, yet another Mighty Ducks sequel), and you need an experienced grip, you can't do any better than Killdozer's Bill Hobson!

ONE WORD RECORD REVIEWS from Reglar Wiglar #21, translated into Spanish and back into English by freetranslation.com!

A REGISTRATION of the WORD REVISES

It hears, I am a minimalist, why to sting words al to say the vindictive and insignificant things, or the pleasant things of burro-kissey about an artist and his work? A word often can summarize our feelings about someone or about something if we want or not as. It worked for ours hairy, ancestors of cave-dwelling did not? Insurance did. And

BURY ITS DEAD PERSON Erases the tracks (the Victory)
Murderous.

The PORT of DENVER Scenic (Universal)
Landlubbers.

CHANGE FOR ALWAYS The Alive Need to Feel (Door of Flood)
Pubescent.

The GLORY OF THIS Adoration (Indianola)
Vainglorious.

THE PILDORAS MARVELOUS 1 + 1 + Ate (the Zeal)
Struck-up.

SLEEPYKID Monday by the Smile of tomorrow (Obtains Hip)
Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

THE DIRECCION NEW of the I TRAVEL Marvelous Mechanisms of Defense (Some they Register)
Of south.

Dying FOR ALWAYS FORGOT Beautiful (Thorp)
It recalled.

THE RAZON Ravenna (SmallMan)
Exscream-or.

(read the originals, click here (scroll down into the "F" reviews))

It's 2006 People, Wake Up!

Anyway. After months of intense and painstaking labor and the typing on the keyboard, etc, the new Reglar Wiglar Website is 90% complete! And with it comes some new editions since the last time you may have checked. Such as, an article by veteran Reglar Wiglar Reporter, Mike Dixon, after a conversation with the underground comix legend Gary Panter; an e-mail interview conducted with our hockey playing, punk rock brothers to the North, DOA; and archived record reviews from the past five issues!

In the future we plan to archive the entire Reglar Wiglar back catalog. This could take some time, so please check out reglarwiglar.com periodically and check this blog also for some blasts from the past.

We hope you share our excitement about these new developments and enjoy the shit out of the new site!