Thursday, July 04, 2013

REGLAR WIGLAR 2OTH ANNIVERSARY 1993-2013

Not sure what the impetus was for this parody of a white boy rap group, but here it is nonetheless. Please, try to enjoy it. Btw: I'm not gonna be proofin' these things for typos and shit. Not worth it.

WHITE BRED & HONKY MC

Interviewed by T. BONE

Published in RW#4, 1994

The latest rap sensation to hit the nation in recent months has been two white boys from Rockford, Illinois: White Bred and Honky MC. Their fusion of really annoying, nasally raps and overdone sampling has rocketed their debut record, Chilin' in the Hood, to a number eighty-seven spot on the local radio charts. How this happened we'll never know, but here they are, White Bred and Honky MC. 


Reglar Wiglar: So where you cats from?

White Bred: Yo holmes, we from the hoods of Rockford I. L., bro.

RW: Straight up?

Honky MC: Boo-yah!

WB: Word.

RW: They got crazy hoods in Rockford?

WB: Straight up, fucked up hoods, dog. Mutha'fucka's be crazy out in Rock Town.

MC: Yeah, but we got to give props to the burg though, it's where we're comin' from, right?

RW: So how do you guys cope with people who say that you guys are rippin' off black 
rappers and that your style is completely wack and that you try to portray yourselves as gangsta' homeboys from the hood and—

MC: Shit man, people always be trippin' on that, right? We grew up in the hood, man, with the brothers. Me and White Bred, we down with the brothers, bro. We grew up in the hood, man, and it was crazy.

MC: Straight up, dog. It's crazy in the hood.

WB:: Stone cold crazy.

MC: Yeah, me and White Bred, we be trippin' all the time.

WB: Steady trippin, jack.

MC: And as for all that bullshit about us rippin' off other rappers, that's messed up. What's the difference if we sample other samples? They're both samples right? Why not cut out the middle man, you know? You got a James Brown sample on a rap record, right? You wanna use it on your own record. Why sample James when you can just use the sample that's already there? It makes sense right?

WB: I look at it this way, someone builds a house, right. So live in it, don't go and build another house just to say you built it yourself. If we all built our own houses, man, there'd be no more room left on this rock.

RW: Controversy seems to follow you guys around wherever you go, latest thing is all about how you guys are always dissin' homosexuals.

MC: Shit, ain't that a trip, man. We don't be dissin' people that are homos man. Peoples be peoples, right? All's we sayin' is it ain't natural and God ain't down wit' it, right?

WB: Right, you wanna pop that ass, hey, that's your trip, but bein' a fag ain't cool. That's our message to the kids and there ain't nuthin' wrong with it.

RW: What about the misogynist personae you project, what's up with that?

WB: Yo, I'm not sure what that word means but I've heard it enough to know what you askin', right? It's like this; a ho be a ho and a bitch be a bitch and visa versa. Not all hos is bitches either 'cause you know I respect sisters of all races, creeds and bootys, but like I'm the man, you know? I say what's up in my relationships with females of the opposite sex. But that's not say that you gotta do it that way. There's a lot of sissy men out there lettin' their woman drag 'em around by the balls, but that ain't me. I'm the man, and I encourage all my homies to be the man. That's just our message to the kids, you know?

RW: And what about your sexual bravado.

MC: I'm an artist whether I'm on the microphone or I'm on my girl. I'm a pro when it comes to hittin' that thang, and my ladies respect that. They know what they got and they don't trip. Havin' the tool and knowin' how to use it, that keeps your ladies in line.

WB: That and an occasional slap upside the head.

MC: Word.

RW: I also heard a rumor about a video you guys shot for a local cable access show out there in Rockford that got itself banned. What's up with that?

MC: Awww man, it was straight up bullshit. Me and my homies, we were chillin' on the stoop one day tippin' forties when this idea came to me to make a video featuring all these fly ladies in thong bathing suits dancing around a pool while me and White Bred did our rap thang. You know, they'd be hangin' all over us and we'd be in our bikini briefs with our packages bustin? out 'n'shit. But that station pulled the video after one showing.

WB: Total Hammer thing, man. Turns out our rigs are too big to be shown on TV, man. Ain't that a bitch? The God Almighty blesses me and my boy Honky here with full baskets and we can't even display them in an artistic way. Fuck, ain't that what the Fifth Amendment is all about?

RW: About the size of your unit?

WB: Yeah, isn't that what Frank Zappa was fightin' Tipper Gore about back in the day?

RW: No it wasn't. Anyway, speaking of TV, you guys did a "Just Say No" commercial that aired on local stations. Despite your repeated and much publicized "run ins" with the police over drug related incidents, do you still endorse that "Just Say No" stance?

MC: Well, doin' public service commercials is always a good way to get out of doin' real time in the joint, but it's like this, I gotta chill with my homies. If that means tippin' back forties and smokin' blunts then hey, that's just what we do, but we don't fuck around with crack or blow. Fuck that.

WB: Unless it's offered by a homey. You can't turn down a pipe offered in good faith from a homeboy.

MC: Straight up, but we never buy that shit. Fuck that. 

WB: Yeah, motherfuck that.

MC: And beside all that, just for the record, all those drug convictions, we was railroaded by the man on every charge. The authorities ain't down with boyz from the hood.

MC: Yeah and God ain't really down with the whole drug thing neither.

WB: Yeah, Jesus is the ultimate homeboy.

MC: Word.

RW: All right, it's been a trip talkin' to ya'll, maybe not a good one, but a trip nonetheless.

MC: All right brother, peace.

RW: Yeah, peace. I'm out.

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