Friday, April 05, 2013


Movie Review: 
The Adventures of Jim Bob and Pencilneck

Published in RW #1, this review was of a fake movie about two moronic Midwestern teenagers. The movie was based on a screenplay I wrote for a screenwriting class at Columbia College, which in turn was based on a very stupid story I had actually started writing four years before that. It was an attempt at humor which failed. You see, the critic in this instance is a film school dropout who has his head so far up his own ass, he doesn't realize that he has mistaken a comedy for a serious drama. He even accuses the intentionally absurd film of being pretentious. This is of course laughable, because the reviewer is actually the pretentious one in this situation. The fact that this needs to be pointed out means, quite simply, that this bit missed its mark by a country mile. Ironically, however, The Adventures of Jim Bob and Pencilneck is now an Internet sensation and will someday be made into a major motion picture thus bringing the whole stupid mess full circle. Sure it will.

The Adventures of Jim Bob and Pencilneck 

Review by P.C. Jones

Directed by Maggie Zeen; Screenplay by Jeremiah T. Johnson; Produced by Ricky Douglas and James Farrel. A Cheesetown Pictures release. Rated PG-17: absurd situations and silly language

The Cast 
Jim Bob.................................................Corey McBain Pencilneck.............................................Josh Roberts Keemo..................................................Vince Tucker
Truck Stop Hooker.....................................Avon LaShelle

The Adventures of Jim Bob and Pencilneck, to be quite frank, is a piece of shit as far as a movie goes. Maybe as a propaganda film for the culturally retarded it is a masterpiece, but I don't think so. I think the writing is what doomed this project from the beginning. I don't think a more pretentious movie could have been made in a Wicker Park coffee shop. Lines such as "Gee, Jim Bob, you wanna go drinkin' down Millerfog's Road?" peppered this nasty film about two shiftless rednecks who take to the road in search of fame and fortune as professional criminals.

The film was directed by Maggie Zeen, who as her past directing record will indicate is capable of producing high quality work (Love Nest, When Bob Met Lenny), but with this film she falls a little shy of quality and originality—about a hundred yards or so. What I thought was supposed to be a movie depicting the emotional relationship between two young men on the highway of life, struggling with their inner selves and finding the best in the human spirit, turned out to be a complete farce. The movie was actually laughable. I felt sorry for screenwriter, Jeremiah T. Johnson, I wasn't the only one laughing either, the whole theater was crying they were laughing so hard. Granted, Jeremiah T. (let's not forget the T for Terrible) Johnson does have somewhat of an ear for the redneck dialect, but that's probably because he is one which is hardly an excuse. If the writing/directing team of Maggie Zeen and Johnson is not terminated immediately, I don't think that either one of them will be able to salvage their careers, especially after this nasty little film.

The Adventures of Jim Bob and Pencilneck left such a bad taste in my mouth, a fifth of Wild Turkey couldn't rid me of its bitter remnants. Come to think of it, most of the movies I've seen lately really sucked donkey. I don't think there is a good quality director out there these days that can do justice to the trash the writers are churning out. What is wrong with film schools these days? I think I dropped out a year too early to save the world from this barrage of garbage. My apologies to an embittered cinematic nation.

My apologies to EVERYONE—Chris Auman 2013


James said...

Congratulations on your 10 year anniversary. 1993 feels like 50 years ago! - james

James said...

oops 20 years I meant

Chris Auman said...

See what time does to your brain?