Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Nirvana rock a house party at the drop of a hat

Cassette Review: Come on Feel the Lemonheads by The Lemonheads

THE LEMONHEADS
Come on Feel the Lemonheads (Atlantic) 1993
How you feel about the Lemonheads really comes down to how you feel about Evan Dando. I never enjoyed his antics much. He seemed a bit of an arrogant pretty boy, but I will concede that he is capable of writing a decent pop song. Going way back to Hate Your Friends, a decent enough punk record, Dando showed a proclivity for pop hooks. Decent, I guess is the word I would use to describe the music of the Lemonheads. It certainly describes Come on Feel the Lemonheads. When this record came out in 1993, Dando and the Lads had already enjoyed some success and celebrity with It's a Shame About Ray, released the previous year. That record was the band's debut for Atlantic Records. There were worse bands being signed by the majors in the early 90s and The Lemonheads should have been capable of shifting more than a few units for their new label. They weren't. Dando's drug issues kinda put the kabosh on any continued success and the L. Heads dissolved, leaving a sour taste on the tongue of corporate rock. "Being Around" and "Big Gay Heart" reveal a love of county. "Into your Arms" is a pop gem (written by Robyn St. Clare) and "Rick James Style" is pretty heavy. The record, as I've said, is decent. Decent enough, in fact, to justify plopping down two quarters at the Salvation Army.

Monday, June 06, 2011

Cassette Review: Cargo by Men at Work

MEN AT WORK
Cargo (Columbia) 1983
Business as Usual was a monster hit for these Aussie lads at the beginning of the 1980s. They won a Grammy in 1982 for "Best New Artist" (aka The Kiss of Death) and it was all down hill after that. There was Cargo though. I was a Men at Work fan in '82 and '83. After Queen they were probably my favorite band in junior high school. "Down Under" seemed to fit in with Dungeons & Dragons somehow. That single backed with "Crazy" was one of the first forty-fives I ever bought. Cargo would be followed by Two Hearts in '85. That album was met with the critical and commercial disappointment it almost surely deserved. Cargo saw four singles released. "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" is a decent enough tune. It's not on par with any of the hits of its predecessor, but it was good enough to warrant release as a single. "Overkill," "It's a Mistake" and "High Wire" were the other three. Again, not the same caliber of stuff that made Business resonate with the public or make the cash registers ring, but the best of a batch of mediocre stuff nevertheless. The rest of Cargo is pretty forgettable and signaled the end of the Men's career as hit makers. I paid 49¢ for this cassette at the Salvation Army on Montrose. Pretty crappy condition. It's worth about 19¢ tops.

Friday, June 03, 2011

WORK @ HOME!!! Part 7: THE CONCLUSION

STOP: Read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 first! 


I missed Joe. I tried to patch things up with him at one point. I sent him an IM apologizing and explaining that I had gone off my meds. I heard nothing back for a week. Finally, I sent this e-mail to the address I had for Mr. Clark:

Delicate subject matter, for your eyes only, sir.


Dear Mr. Clark,

I would like to lodge a formal complaint against one of your employees, Mr. Joe Phillip. I have found Mr. Phillip, to be abusive and mean in his treatment of me. I work diligently on my assignments as they are assigned by the Controller, and yet this does not seem to be good enough for Mr. Joe Phillip. Mr. Joe constantly harasses me about not being logged into my Yahoo IM at all times. What am I, a slave or some sort of robotic machine? He sometimes asks me what I am wearing which is no small outrage in today's modern day workplace environment. Furthermore, I believe the man to be a drunkard with few (if any!) scruples. His vile temper and sometimes violent BUZZing noises are disturbing to someone of my mental condition, which I assure you is under complete control with the proper medication. Am I not a valuable and highly productive part of the XXXX Team? The answer is a yes in the affirmative. All who know my work would enthusiastically agree. I demand treatment as such!

Thank you for your time. I look forward to you taking immediate action in this regard.

Very respectfully yours,


C. Auman

PS: I shiver at the thought of what sort of pornographic materials that man is viewing on company time. One can only vividly imagine. It is probably very disgusting and perverted!


I received no reply to my complaint to Mr. Daniel who was more than likely Mr Joe as well. After a week of silence, I sent Joe one last instant message and was astonished to received a reply:



10:35AM
chris.auman
i luv you.

10:36AM
joe
i luv you.

We left it at that.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

WORK @ HOME!!! Part 6

STOP: Read Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5 first!


I didn't hear from Joe for a few days. I started to think that maybe he had given up on me. Had I been too insubordinate, pushed him too far? He was no doubt overworked with dozens of potential rubes scattered across the North American continent. Maybe he had gotten into a heated argument with the Controller over my bad attitude. I figured I should send Joe a message and rattle his cage a little bit; maybe he had gotten as complacent as I had. I sent him this message one afternoon:

12:12
chris.auman
Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

Is the controller in control/
Who controls the controller?

This message went on for much, much longer and I broke it down into a dozen or so separate messages just in case Joe could receive them as text messages through his mobile phone. Still I heard nothing from him. I believe Joe simply lost his patience with me. I’m sure as he sat in that Internet cafe in Nigeria he made a decision that I was either too stupid or too crazy to be bothered with. No “good morning, how are you," no reprimands, nothing. 



Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion!

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

WORK @ HOME!!! Part 5

STOP: Read Parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 first


The next day, Joe seemed to forget all about his request from the previous day (see Part 3):

10:30AM
Joe
Good Morning

10:31AM
chris.auman
Good morning

10:32AM
Joe
How are you doing

10:32AM
chris.auman
Good.

10:33AM
Joe
how are you doing with your assignment

10:33AM
chris.auman
Which assignment?

10:33AM
Joe
I need you to map-out the industrial areas of your State and find out the available lands in those areas that are yet to be developed or for sale. If unable to locate such then look up very good realestate agents in your location and retreive their contact details.

Land Lenght about 20acrs

Assignment Objestive: XXXX, INC is looking for locations to situate its branch in your state.

Assisgnment Duration: 3 days

Let me knw if you need anything

10:35AM
chris.auman
Ok.

It should go without saying that I did not complete this important assignment and I received no further inquiries as to its progress. Everything was smooth sailing and I guess I was supposed to be earning $20 an hour for my services of staying logged into my Yahoo account. Yes, everything was fine and dandy until Joe dropped this bombshell on me one morning:

10:50AM
Joe
where have u been?

10:53AM
chris.auman
Just making some coffee.

10:54AM
Joe
you have not been online

10:54AM
chris.auman
I was on-line but not on yahoo, i guess. Sorry.

11:00AM
Joe
you are not taking this job seriouse
are u

11:01AM
chris.auman
I have not received any instructions or assignments or anything but "good mornings" for over a week. What is there to take serious? I just sit here all day and do nothing.

11:02AM
Joe
you have not been online to receive updates

11:03AM
chris.auman
Alright, send me an update then.

It took Joe five minutes to come up with a reply to this reasonable request:

11:08AM
Joe
Note that your assignments are been put together at the controller office.. and as soon as i have it i will send them to you... but still make sure that you are always online to receive updates on your assignment

11:08AM
chris.auman
ok

This the first time I heard about The Controller. I had not been advised that it was the Controller’s job to send me my daily assignments. This Controller appeared to be quite a slacker and not too diligent in his work. Fine with me. At any rate, I received no assignments from The Controller and I made no effort to comply with Joe’s wishes to stay logged in and everything was fine for a few more days. Then Joe got somewhat cryptic:

10:24AM
Joe
Good Morning

11:00AM
chris.auman
Good morning.

11:00AM
Joe
you are invisible

11:00AM
chris.auman
Yes.

11:00AM
Joe
Become availble so I know you are here

11:01AM
chris.auman
ok.

Joe didn’t seem angry or annoyed, if anything he seemed almost concerned. That didn’t last long. My continued noncompliance over the next week brought the old Joe back to the fore:

10:45AM
Joe
you come online when you want to
and log out when you choose to

10:46AM
chris.auman
i haven't heard from you in a week.

10:48AM
Joe
could you reconfirm your mailing addres as i just recieve an update form the controller office that petty cash will be mailed to you tomorrow and your salary will be mailed next week
please reconfirm your full legal name and mailing address for delivery

10:49AM
chris.auman
i've confirmed it many times already. why don't you have it?

10:49AM
Joe
BUZZ!!!
do that now!

10:50AM
chris.auman
mr. craig definitely has that info.

10:50AM
Joe
as ur supervisor am telling you to reconfirm it

10:51AM
chris.auman
can you tell me why i would need petty cash?

10:51AM
Joe
the petty cash funds will be used to solve any assignment that require the use of money..
purchasing office equipments or softwares
making payment to shipping company for shippment of office supplies

10:52AM
chris.auman
so i would use the money to ship office equipment from where to where?

10:52AM
Joe
supplies will be shipped to you

10:52AM
chris.auman
what kind of supplies? to be used for what? this has never been very clear.

10:53AM
Joe
custom designed supplies
laptops
printer
softwares
for your upcoming assignments
it will be full loaded with the companies softwares

10:54AM
chris.auman
cool, so i would get a new computer, printer and a laptop so i could work on my assignments better?

10:54AM
Joe
yes
when the contract is over you will return the company property
ok

10:55AM
chris.auman
oh, well in that case, i can just use my own stuff. i have all that computer equipment; computer, laptop computer, computer printer, etc, etc, etc

10:56AM
Joe
are they customised to the company needs

10:49AM
chris.auman
i think they are.

Joe has signed out.

More tomorrow! Can you stand it?